What the heck should i do?

[hopeless23]

I'll try keep this short. I have been with my boyfriend for going on four years. We have a 2 year old daughter and for a while things were great and i was happy. things haven't been easy, we fight often and sometimes he throws things, once he even hit me. I have recently felt my feelings dwindling and i find myself wanting to escape. I have recently developed feelings for someone else. but i am aware this could be caused by my resentment towards my relationship. I guess i am just afraid to leave him for a multitude of reasons. I feel i have turned into a mere shell of myself and i want advice on what i should do for myself and my daughter. TIA

[Jetta]

Man this is so hard, he crossed a line when he hit you. I left my first marriage for that reason. The guy you've fallen for likely won't be there, if you leave it has to be for you and your daughter. There will be another guy eventually but know you do what you do for yourself.

[hopeless23]

I know the other guy most likely won't be there, i guess my whole "crush" is because im trying to distance myself from thinking about the really hard stuff... He did cross a line when he hit me, im always very scared when we are fighting and i don't want to live like that or have my daughter grow up in this environment. I just don't know how to leave someone.... its really hard.... and confusing.

[hopeless23]

actually i guess it's almost that i want something to happen with this other person cos im too scared to tackle it... if i "cheat" he'll leave me... if im being honest thats the truth isnt it.....

[redhearts]

Does this other guy know your in a relationship & WITH a 2 year old daughter? I mean you should honestly leave your bf BECAUSE HE HIT YOU, thats not right at all. Go to your moms or a friends house in the mean time, make sure you and your daughter are safe. As for the other guy hes just a crutch someone your using to ween yourself off your bf, to help you get out of your relationship.

[hopeless23]

nothing has happened with the other guy and as far as i know he doesn't know of my crush... i don't think he would do anything because he is friends with both me and my BF.

i am just using the idea/fantasy as a crutch cos i just dont know what to do or how to tell my BF what i am feeling.

 

i can't go to my mum's as she lives in another town and i have no friends here.... none of my friends are "good enough" because as far as my BF sees they are all trying to get me to "cheat"

 

i know sooner or later i will need to leave... i can't be unhappy like this anymore, my daughter can sense it and she will grow up seeing this hostile environment as long as i stay... thanks guys your advice really helps.... i've been needing to get this off my chest for awhile...

[InvisibleWound]

Ouch

 

I can speak from the heart when I say this... My childhood was good in the sense of always having food/shelter. However though my father did drugs and still does and my mom was an alcholic now a recovering one of 10 years. They fighted and cheated on each other. I even walked in on my dad cheating once. I witnessed violence very up close and verbal abuse included. My dad verbally abused me and my sister and my mom. It was horrid. I never want to go back because if I did he would treat me as a child again and I would relive everything but the physical abuse and cheating.

 

It impacted me growing up in the since that I closed myself up from the world and only had a couple friends here and there. I have always felt little of myself because of what he put me through growing up. I don't see myself as beautiful and sometimes hate myself too. I am anti social most of the time and scared to be around people. This is how all of the abuse effected me. Its different for everyone but I am very unstable in a lot of ways because of it.

 

That is terrible that he hit you. I do believe you should get out of the relationship asap, its not a good memory for a child to remember thats for sure. So you have no close family members or good friends you can stay with?