not sure if i should bother again

[uongy]

hi.

 

i was in a LDR last year with my girlfriend whom i loved so much.having met online and seen each other,we fell for each other.we did meet up a few times during our 7 month relationship but the distnace was way too hard on me and her.she called the relationship off in Sept and i was devastrated.

 

in my attempt to get over the relationship and move on,ive made new friends and go on with life.at this stage i felt ready to start dating again and new relationships maybe as a consequence.basically,i had got over her.

 

however,she got in contact today and we chatted and i realise that i still have those feelings for her.she said that she was thinking about me and wants me to come see her again.im not sure what im to do.

 

my head tells me not to go back to her and cut contact off again.my heart still wants her and wants to see her.i went through alot of pain and i dont want that again.

 

i dont think its worth the pain but i need ti know if im thinkin logically.also,im sure shes got some hope that we might see each other or talk,even as just friends.i believe that there isnt much point in being friends if we are so far apart.so id rather break contact.how do i go about doing this without hurting her too much?

 

any help thx.uongy.

[bdub]

It sounds like there are still a lot of unresolved feelings you are having about the relationship. It might be best for both of you if you don't try having a conversation about the relationship until you feel more emotionally centered and healed from the break up.

 

You also mentioned that you want to tell her this, but don't want to hurt her feelings. I think the best way to deal is to try to figure out what she wants to talk about. Then be honest with her about how you feel. Tell her that although you care about her feelings and don't want to hurt her, that you need more time to heal before you talk. Tell her that you just aren't ready to talk with her.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub