I need a drink

[max]

I finally told my ex to not conatact me. She was like "Wow'. I told her that it was for the best. It took a lot of courage and bravery. She told me that she still love me, but I don't know what that means. She told me that she will not be trying to contact me if she didn't miss me. I figure I am not going to pretend no more when we talk to each other on the phone. I don't like phony conversations. Wishing each other well, what you been up to, and all that other crap. There is too much feelings involved. She has not said to me directly that she wants me back. I know she probably only love me as a friend. Nothing more or nothing less. I am not going to put myself through that . So just like that it % I don't know if I did the right thing because I feel like crap. I can't go back and say I made a mistake because that is going to make me look weak. Well, a toast! here's to not ever and never seeing her or speaking to her agian. I am going to hit the bar..............

 

Any comments?

[tough_girl]

Well, you didn't state too clearly about what's happening in there.

 

I can't go back and say I made a mistake because that is going to make me look weak.

 

Well that sentence didn't sound too right. You CAN go back and apologize to her. It's not about being weak or strong, it's about learning from our past mistakes.

 

We, as humans are not perfect. We make mistakes and if we do, we should learn how not to repeat it again. And there are times we have to apologize for our own mistakes.

 

Hitting the bars doesn't seem like a great idea either. Too much alcohol can damage your brain, your liver and etc.

 

So please do think carefully before you carry this things out.Good Luck!

[viewsonic34]

i am a believer in beating the odds, i see it happen all the time. but you seem to be in the situation i am in, a little further along in the process perhaps. you did the right thing though. if she loves you, she'll realize her mistake (i guess, cant tell you from my experience, but this is what i hear). if you're not comfortable being friends with her, u should cut it off. and if she knows that you dont just want to be friends and she still is coming around, you'll know maybe she wants more of it too. if she doesnt, then you didnt waste anybody's time. ballsy of you, shows strenght and courage to fking throw it out there and say "with or without you, i'm moving on". if anything, she'll appreciate your forthrightness-

and you can look your next girlfriend in the eye (if it is somebody else) and know in the back of your mind she is with a strong dude who doesnt let anybody walk over him. thats what all of them seem to look for anyway

[max]

tough_girl ,

 

We have been together for 3 years and live together for 3 years. There was nothing really wrong with the relationship other than you daily struggles in life. I guess she wanted more at that particular time. So she initiated the break-up.

 

 

She tell me she misses me and love me, but I don't get the sense that she wants to get back together so why bother?

[QTpie87]

NO...

You sound like you still may care about her and i bet she still really cares about you. please don't do this to yourself or her. i have missed my ex so horribley and he wont give me another chance (prob. cuz of that whole weak thing you were saying). im dying here, you need to take that chance if you ever really cared about her, please! It's not going to make you look weak, men are always so worried about being wrong and all but to me weakness is when you can't attmit that you may have been wrong. I would think it would make you look like more of a man being able to go to her and say you were wrong and you want her back. Always take chances, don't let this once in a life time oportunity for the two of you to be happy pass you up. if you don't do it now it could be too late, soon!

Just take my word for it. im a girl and i think that men are smarter, and cooler, and have more self-esteem when they can say they were wrong.

see ya,

love QTpie87

 

[max]

viewsonic34,

 

 

I agree 100%. Why carry on with these meaningless conversations to only get hurt more. I fear that she might get to comfortable being friends and she might want to talk to me about other guys she is dating. I see it on these forums all the time. People allowing there ex to talk about who they are seeing to only come her a post it out of hurt. I still love her, but I can't continue this friendship crap. I loved her unconditionally! She is the stuborn type. She will never realize the extent of my love or admit it!

 

She confuse me when she tell me she still love me and misses me! what do all that mean if you can't get back together? She also said that she think aobut our relationship sometimes. She confuses the hell out me!

[max]

QTpie87,

 

Thanks for your imput..........Yeah, I feel like i screwed it up by saying I want no contact, but I became to wiery of the conversations we've been having. It was like we was putting on a face to cover our problem's. I couldn't take a nother convestion of " I am doing fine, nice to hear from you, so what's been up, oh! I am doing this and that" I was saying all of this while I was cringing on the the phone.

 

I still love her and she tells me she misses me and love me but I don't get the sense she is ready for a second chance so why bother?

[Langeveldt]

If she says she loves you, what makes you feel like she doesnt want you back? I cant understand how she can love you but not want you back...

 

Im in a similar situation, but it would hurt both of us to much if i started a no contact.. i love her too much not to see her... so more false "how are you" "nice to hear from you" conversations.. it could go on for years

[tough_girl]

I agree with QTpie87 and Langeveldt.

 

I think that you go and apologize to her and take her back. You said that nothing went wrong and it was such a perfect relationship. Why throw it away? A least give it go.

 

1. the biggest risk is not taking one

[max]

Update:

 

First off, my relationship was far from perfect. I just want to through it out there. We had our share of problems......

 

Well, after I told her to not contact me, she calls me back that very same night to talk. I told myself if she doesn't call this weekend despite what I have said to her (No contact) then I will move on with my life. She calls me back at night to say she love me and thinks about me. We talked for about an hour. Now , I know she love me despite me taking control and risk losing it all. It was gutsy, I took a risk and she responded. She loves me and I am going to take the necessary steps to rekindle the relationship. I am going to take it slow and be her friend and escalate the relationship. When some love you uncondtionally just like I loved her unconditionally that carries alot of weight. Life is about taking chances and risk. The bigger the risk the greater the reward. It feels real good to know that she still love me. I guess I don't need a drink afterall.........