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Fear of the 'explosion'...


Caldus
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Before I discuss my problem, I should probably describe my background a bit. I am very shy and quiet person most of the time. I am a very nice and caring person and have good morals. My friends also have good morals, but they aren't shy and quiet like I am. They are into some things that I am not into. I don't mind that. But they are into video games a lot, which I am really not into anymore these days.

 

Anyway, I feel like I shouldn't be around these people as much anymore because of our different interests. I am into programming a lot while they are into (what most people in my dorm hall are into) video games and anime. I like them a little bit (as a thing to do for fun when you're out socializing with a group of people maybe), but about 60% (making an estimate) of the time they just become mean to me. I've hinted to them many times that I don't like their behavior sometimes. They just seem to keep joking and act like all mean about it, etc. And I know that if I try to have a serious talk with them then they will point at me as the person who is being a jerk and not them (which I guess in a way I am being an jerk to them because I always act quiet and uninterested around them).

 

I just know that some kind of explosion or fight will occur between all of us and I have no idea what I will do when that time comes. I know for sure it will happen at some point because they will ask me if I want to go on a beach trip with them again and I will say no because last time we went on a beach trip it ended up being a disaster for the most part (because they were teasing and annoying me most of the time).

 

I am the type of person who wants to learn new things (while they seem to just sit there and do nothing constructive the whole day). Yet they are very nice and caring to me at times. In fact they gave me some good gifts for Christmas. At the same time though, I am just very worried and devastated about this 'explosion' that I feel will happen at some point. I just know that I will be rejected or I will reject them. I am not concerned with losing them, but I am scared of what will happen when that time comes. I just hate thinking about how at one moment we are very good friends because we were exchanging gifts with each other while in the next moment we will not be friends anymore because I am trying to be 100% myself (if you know what I mean).

 

What should I do? Thanks in advance for any advice.

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well they tease u and stuff next time they do it just be like dude seriously stop its pissin me off and if they dont get the hint just leave em for awhile they'll get the hint but im sure they dont mean anything by it but if it hurts then jsut be like stop seriously k it works my friend jared says it to me once in awhile and it hints to me hey im takin it to far good luck

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Well, the good thing is, you know that you can live life without them.

People change; friends aren't friends anymore. If you feel like things can get nasty, just avoid them. While you're apart, you'll realize one or the other: You miss their presense and realize how much you should be with them, or you realize their differences and that you're better off without them.

 

I had this friend, and ex, who I broke up with. I wanted to stay friends at least, because I loved being around her and joking, etc. She smoked pot, and excessively, and stayed behind this 'straw man.' While I was away from her, I grew more on to the fact that I really didn't need her for anything. I could not handle knowing a person such as she, for she was very immature, rude, and misunderstanding of anything that applied to me. I'm starting to edge on to abandoning her, and I feel much more happier now.

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i think that next time they start making fun of you, you should let them know that it hurts you. i don't think that they realize that it really does bother you. to me it seems like they are just joking around & thinking that you are taking it that way too. it seems like maybe they do like you as a friend because i don't see why else they would get you christmas gifts. after you let them know that it bothers you, if they continue to do it, then they are horrible friends. if they don't respect you then they aren't true friends. it would be kind of hard to avoid them because they do live on your floor, but if they are still acting this way, then try your best not to spend so much time with them.

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Wonderful, I just got a call from one of my friends and he just kind of harasses me the whole time. At one point he said: "I'll probably call you and harass you tomorrow and then we can do something together so that you don't sit on your computer all day."

 

I am sure that he just kind of kidding around with me, but I hate it. What can I say to that? I am afraid of making a scene with them, because I know that I have to live with them for another semester.

 

I just don't know what the right thing is to do (I don't want to judge people or make of them), and it is tearing me apart.

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