Not sure why this hurts so bad

[brian123]

1st of all, idk if this should go in the dating forum, but I think it is somewhat tied into my last BU with my fiance. (I've been BU ~ 4 months)

 

I met a girl 2 months ago, she was flirty with me. It took me a month to call her to get together. On our 1st date, she showed an immense amount of interest in me (obvious physical + mental even though nothing really happened physically, but obvious interst was there) Since then, we've spent 4-5 evenings together. Each has gone ok, but I can tell her interst in me is quickly waining. What drew me to her was her stability, and her seeming like a good person with alot of confidence which I lack right now in my life.

 

For the last 2 weeks I was infatuated with her (but only really contacted her 2-3 times/wk via txt, phone etc....). Idk, but it's been really bothering me over the last 2 weeks and it's really been my focus in life. Now, it bothers most ever faucet in my life.

 

Why does this hurt so bad? Shouldn't I be able to get over something totally simple like this quite easilty considering I just was healing from something MUCH more serious?

[BornToResist]

I haven't read your other posts yet so I don't know what exactly happened with your fiancee. However when you end a relationship I think your self esteem takes a huge hit. And the fact that you became interested in someone new and they lost interest quickly would not help that whatsoever. Perhaps what hurts the most is your self esteem and I know after breakups typically I assume the "nobody will want me" "I suck" attitude and this might have added to that pain.

 

My advice is to stay away from girls for a bit and let yourself heal.

 

Good luck...

[brian123]

I haven't read your other posts yet so I don't know what exactly happened with your fiancee. However when you end a relationship I think your self esteem takes a huge hit. And the fact that you became interested in someone new and they lost interest quickly would not help that whatsoever. Perhaps what hurts the most is your self esteem and I know after breakups typically I assume the "nobody will want me" "I suck" attitude and this might have added to that pain.

 

My advice is to stay away from girls for a bit and let yourself heal.

 

Good luck...

 

 

 

My fiance basically had some sort of mental breakdown, said how much she loved me, told all our mutual friends how great I was, how she was so scared of loosing me etc.... then essentially fell off the face of the earth. This was/is a hard BU for me because a "normal" BU hurts, but one as confusing at that only hurts worse due to the extra confusion.

 

I think what hurt the most in this new girl was that, initially, she did the chasing, and later on I did. It also hurt me with this new girl because I didn't act on NUMEROUS signals that she intially sent me, so I am upset with myself.