How do you improve your confidence and other pesky problems.

[IllestBboy]

Hi how can you improve your confidence so it shows to the people around u? it makes me mad when someone says im trying to act too cool and im usually very depressed about this.. so can anyone help me? any helpful tips?

[IllestBboy]

hey um.. btw one more question.. is there any site here that could "decode" body language? i have poor body language looking at many things and i cannot make eye contact and i think the person that im talkin to finds it annoying and rude.. so anyone?

[Cid]

Think good of your self, act like you know what your doing even if you dont. But dont be afrade to ask for help if you need it. Decode body language I dont think there is a site for that but we all have a hard time finding out what outher people are thinking with body language. You need to look people in the eyes that is a sign of confidence. I have a question for you are you shy? If so I sugest that you go up to 20 ramdom people and start talking to them and look them in the eyes but only talk for 5 maby 10 mins then move on. This should help you.

[tom118118]

Eye contact and confidence must not be confused. I am sure that you are confidident in many things, and whilst socialising you just want to be more outgoing possibly. Being happy will lead to confididence. Making eye contact is something that can be found to be very intimidating to the recipient. Try making the conversation. To practise getting used to chatting about something that you are confidident with (a hobby or sport!)

 

Let us know how u get on!

[IllestBboy]

yea im pretty shy.. is eye contact really important? is it necessary? Also.. how can you tell if someone's trying to be "too cool"?

[just_smile]

hey IllestBboy,

i think the best thing that you could do would to just get used to talking to people, maybe people that you dont know like Cid mentioned, i think that if you get used to talking in situations inwhich you arent comfortable in may help, because when you find one which you are it will seem easier and you will be more relax and you may appear to be more confident, if that makes sense.

 

personally i think that eye contact is both a good thing and a bad, eye contact and body language can be either positive or negative, if your body language is 'open' (your arms arent crossed, you arent curled up in a small space) it can be percieved as a confident and positive sign to a person whereas if your body language is 'closed' (crossed arms etc) then this is a negative sign to someone and they see you as someone who isnt confortable within themselves.

the same can be said with your eyes if you eyes (pupils) are dilated then this is a sign that you are interested and confortable within the situation, buy if they arent the it is the opposite, unconfortatable and negative, resulting in you seeming unconfident.

 

anyway i think yet again i have babbled, i hope this helps

~LJ =;

[vfunkera]

Hey illestbboy,

 

Firstly, I think being 'too cool' is another way of saying being 'arrogant'.

 

Now on confidence. This is something very special and requires alot of work on. Having confidence is basically just loving yourself. Madcat posted something that i was really impressed with- it tells you the basic benefits of confidence, and a type of plan that you take to improve it.

link removed

Make it a new years resolution like me!

 

As for body languages, lool i can really help you with those. Alot of what just_smile said was very true. If you open up your body, and lay back instead of bending forward (particularly when sitting down), then you will come accross as much more open and friendlier. Eye contact is also important because maintaining it on a girl and vice versa indicates that theres interest. Its also charming-especially when it doesn't turn into a stare- because it shows that you have confidence, and are telling that person you can see them and they can see you. Maintaining this kind of eye contact when its a male on male gaze is usually initimidating and suggests a challenge or confrontation.

 

If you want anythin else on body language i can help you out. good luck.

[frenchie]

Be yourself! smile initiate and maintain eye contact and stop worrying about what other people think of you, everyone has their hang ups and you will be surprised at how many of the cool people that you refer to have difficulties!

Love yourself and others will love you corny but true!

[MrKawabata]

There is a book on body language called:

"Body Language. How to Read Others' Thoughts By Their Gestures" by Allan Pease. You can search for a copy of the book at link removed

[Jordan42]

My psychologist told me to keep my shoulders back, chin up, smile, and make eye contact (but don't stare!). It's made a difference for me.

 

I find that I feel much more confident when I am happy and don't think too much about how others will react to me. Good luck to you!

[IllestBboy]

vfunkera u are so rite! i think people who say your too cool think they're better then everyone.. its jus down rite arrogant.. i completely agree with ya.. but sumtimes it gets to me and i really wanna change this year.. 2003 has been harsh on me