amya Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 you ex boyfriend of 2 years who breaks up with you 3 weeks ago and doesn't reply to your txts, then when you ring him (just a second ago) he says "oh i were gonna txt you today". Followed up by a friendly pleasant 10 minute convo, him telling me all about how he's been doing this that and the other, how great his new life is etc etc, then as the convo comes to a close a "do you wanna hang out next week?" what does that mean! is it a polite gesture? or maybe he does wanna see me? but then if he did surely he would have txt/rang ME by now...? anyone? i always think i read into things a bit too much and should let it be what it is but i dunno.](*,) Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 It means that he is letting you do all the work. You are broken up. He likes the attention that you are giving him and is being polite. You should not have any expectations. Link to comment
flip4ever Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 i went through something kinda similar with an ex girlfriend. he may want to be friends with you, and thats all, so don't get your hopes up, but what ever you do, don't shoot down all hope by telling yourself it will never happen. all i can ask is how much does this guy truly mean to you? Link to comment
amya Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 I did ask him why he didn't reply to my txts and he said he was going to but he thought i hated him, but then when i txt him saying i really didnt want to become strangers he thought oh i'll give her a txt then, but never got the chance coz i rang him before he could. And thats when he said all that, and about seeing him next week. I know i shouldn't get my hopes up but bloody hell i'd do anything to get this guy back, i've been a lot patient over these 3 weeks than i thought i'd be able to, trying to give him space but i think it comes down to a lot of that whether we get back or not, i just miss him and didn't like us not talking. If he doesn't contact me next week shall i just leave it? Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Sounds like a polite friendly gesture. Did you actually make plans? I think you're putting too much hope on this convo. Stop calling him and let him come to you. If he really wanted to start the relationship again, he would be calling you and trying to get your attention. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yes...if he hasn't contact you about next week, just leave it. You don't want to look and sound desperate and clingy. Link to comment
HoTung Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 to be honest my ex did that and i then made the mistake of doing all the chasing - i would leave it - because from my experience you will get your hopes up and then put yourself up for a huge fall. You lose all diginity and respect for yourself. If he loved or cared about you, he would come to you. I told my ex not to contact me agian and its over 3 weeks since he did - just goes to show he doesn;t care. He said he is going to give me my space to get over him. Why be second best? Link to comment
HoTung Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 whenever i used to call him - he would always say - i was just going to call you - its all lies Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I agree with the others, don't get your hopes up. Do you plan on meeting up with him next week to catch up? If so, don't discuss relationship. Be upbeat, stuff like that. Would you be willing to settle with being friends with him? Link to comment
amya Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah i am probably getting my hopes up but im no way going to put him under any pressure, if we meet up and its just friends then i'll let it be what it is, i'm not gonna fall on my hands and knees and beg for him back coz i know thats not what he wants to hear right now. I probably should just leave him to it but its so hard when you sort of blame yourself for why things happened. I mean i know it wasn't all my fault things ended but i do feel regret i didnt try enough at the time. But i also know that he didn't try hard enough either. Then there's the argument well you shouldn't really have to try to be happy... i dunno. Altho i think it's best we split up one day the next day i'll be thinking oh god this isn't right i need to talk to him! I should leave it i really should, but if he says he will see me i can hardly say no, he was the one to bring it up not me. Ahhhh! Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 He brought it up, but YOU called him and texted him. He did not make an effort to reach out to you. If he contacts you, then you will know that he wants to keep in touch with you. Link to comment
amya Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 "only time will tell!" haha, as i just said to you in your post! Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 "only time will tell!" haha, as i just said to you in your post! Yup, I know. My ex kept contacting me after we broke up and I eventually got back together with him, but nothing had changed, so now we are broken up for good. If the reasons for the breakup are still there, the reconciliation will not work, unless you work out your issues first. Link to comment
amya Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 It's a hard life, having issues! Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 he probably just wanted space but i wouldnt hang out with him cause he is going to know and use you for his convenience and comfort, you will just be a failsafe. Link to comment
amya Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 I know i shouldn't, but he asked and i couldn't say no, feeling how i do about him. He may never get in contact with me, he might have just said it to be nice. In all honesty, i haven't a clue what he's thinking! All i know is that i couldn't say no. Link to comment
HoTung Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 man you sound like me - but trust me i have been there They happy to talk to you and to keep you sweet. and it will hurt like crazy unless he changes his mind. My ex would tell me he missed me loads but doens;ty want to get back with me - so how bad is that? i had enough. He'd call and we'd talk for 2-3 hours - just gave me false hope time and time again Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 your putting yourself out for his convenience. Your setting yourself up for prolonged pain! Just say no! Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 he wants to make it look like you are chasing after him and that his life is all better now. Link to comment
amya Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Well yeah i suppose i am chasing him, always have done! I know i won't continue to do it tho, i know there will be a time when even i've had enough. Link to comment
PulsarSpin Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Remember this fact of life.....everything we chase will run away. Think about it. Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 What were you texting him? Some guys have pride, but... if he dumped you, I think you shouldn't read too much into your contact with him unless HE initiates it. Link to comment
HoTung Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Seriously you sound like me. It hurts when they talk to you and then u get ur hopes up. No matter how much u say it won;t bother you being friends, it will. If u hear him dating someone else - how would u feel? Link to comment
amya Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 PulsarSpin- You're right, you really are. And there's not much i can say to that because i know. SpeedingCars- I know ringing him was probably a bit silly, i mean i were pretty set on not ringing him but i did it without thinking for a second, i hardly expected him to answer the phone but he did. I know i shouldn't look into it too much because i rang him or whatever but i never asked to see him, he asked me. And altho i do think it was just a friendly gesture, part of me finds it hard that after 2 years together he could just easily be friends with me, even tho i said i wanted to be friends with him. Again, probably just false hope, but either way i miss him so much and really do want to see him tomorrow, providing he does still ring. HoTung- I'm really pleased you can relate. I get my hopes up coz i feel like well if hopes gonna just make me happy for a little while then i'll go with it because i'm tired of being miserable, i really am. Altho i said to my ex i really wanted to be friends and didnt want to lose him completely im not actually sure i can follow it through, i really want to but i dunno. I think i meant it at the time i said it but doing it, i'm not sure, at the moment. If i heard he was seeing someone else? I'd die. I really would. Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Emotionally tired! Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Amya, I know how you feel. Sometimes we want to do anything so we don't lose our ex at any cost. But it can come at the cost of the loss of our dignity and self-worth. Not sure if that is always worth it. The pull of the ex can be very strong at times. Link to comment
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