hurting over an ex..please help

[snowboardshorty]

Well, my ex said he'd take me back and we were getting along really well,then he turned around and said he doesn't want a girlfriend. Now he's treating me like crap and making excuses not to call me or do things with me, like today for example. He said he was sick and wasn't going out all night when I asked him to go to a movie, so he'd call me later...he never called and I saw him on IM and said "thanx for saying hi" and he said "oh sorry i was looking to see if (girl's name) was online." And now he's going out. That's just one of the many excuses. I need help getting over him, I don't want to call him or talk to him anymore it just hurts me more and more. What do I do? How do I get my mind off of him? Being with friends helps but I can't be with them 24/7 and I don't know what to do when I'm alone. This is killing me inside someone please help me!

[fifi8]

I'm sure you're conscience is telling you that you deserve better than this, and if you can actually make yourself not contact your ex, you may eventually be able to call the shots. He's just not worthy of you right now, and if he ever wants you in his life, make him work for it. I can promise you from experience that it does get easier.

 

The first week of no contact is a killer, the second week is barely better, but by week three it's like you know you're kicking an addiction. The times alone are tough, but all you can do is suffer through them until you don't feel so blah. Exercise is good because it makes you tired enough that you can actually get some sleep at night, plus it pays off in other ways.

 

Remember, thousands of us have been where you are right now, and you *can* do this. Don't contact him, don't try and find out where he is or what he's doing. The more you practice not being actively interested in his stuff, the easier it will get.

 

Fiona

[neallo82288]

I agree, you need to cut off all contact. Stop using the IM until you are stronger. Jusst leave him alone. When you feel the urge to call him, come onto this site and talk to somebody. There cannot be any contact what soever. This is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you need time to heal and that is what the no contact rule is all about. Make him miss you. He will call in a couple of months. But put this time to good use and make yourself a better person. Nobody is perfect, so you need to find out your faults and make them better. You must work on everything about you, both physical and mental. exercise helps with the physical and there are self help books thatwill help with the mental.

 

If you want him back then check out this posting:

www.enotalone.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16105

 

There are answers there that will help you in the coming months.

 

Start saying outloud to yourself:

 

I am stronger today than I was yesterday

I will be stronger tomorrow than I was today

 

say it every time you want to call, message, or text him. You will be better in time.

 

Time heals all.

[snowboardshorty]

Thanks a lot, it's still extremely hard for me. I want to unblock him everytime he signs on but I know I can't. I just lay in bed and cry and wish that things were different between us, but I guess I can't change reality.