So I'm meeting my ex tomorrow...

[enkymion]

I'm meeting my ex tomorrow. We haven't seen each other in over a month. I just wanted some tips from people in how to carry myself. Please advise.

[tatanya4me]

Be strong but happy and cheerful. Do NOT bring up the relationship. Let her do that. Don't bring up anything depressing or problematic. Be upbeat, show her that your life has been doing well and going well since the breakup. Do NOT be a sad sack. Don't make the meeting too long. Be the first to end the meeting. Leave on a good note. Hope I covered all the bases.

[nuttybuddy]

i agree with tatanya. the reason why she's saying all that is because even though u may want to tell her how much u missed and how miserable u were without her, that will only turn her off. i'm not saying u should put an act to turn her on, but the healthier u sound, the more attractive u will seem to her. and perhaps she will regret. but if u show urself to be a sad person, she'll be out of there in 2 seconds thinking, "thank god i dumped him. what a loser."

[enkymion]

All true. Anything else?

[shygirl1212]

enky - what is the purpose of the 2 of you meeting? are you just catching up or rekindling?

[RedWingsFan]

How does enkymion respond to statements like "I've missed you," "I miss talking to you," "I've been lonely...," etc.

 

It is great to mention that he shouldn't initiate these statements. But should they be reciprocated? If so, to what degree? A lot depends on the dynamics of the break up and why it happened, as well.

 

While I want to tell you to "go with the flow" so you are more natural, you might want to have a response prepared for some of the above.

[tatanya4me]

dress well. don't prolong the meeting. Make this an hour or less. be sure to leave on a good note. BE CONFIDENT. confidence SELLS. Don't make moves on her. Don't look sad. Look at her when you talk. Watch how she reacts to you. See how she sits in relation to you. Does she sit facing you. Does she turn her body away from you. Body language tells a lot. Does she look at you when she talks to you. Ta;lk about neutral topics. laugh a little. relax. most of all, don't beg.

 

If she tells you that she misses you, acknowledge it, but don't beg for her back. Tell her your life is doing well and that you are moving on.leave the ball in her court if she wants to get back together. Don't beg for her back.

[thekid55]

BEFORE YOU GO....PLEASE READ MY POST....READ IT MAYBE 50 TIMES...

 

I had the same situation last week. And I failed. Approach her with a big smile. Give her a hug. No kiss. Please read this next sentence about 50 times...

 

DO NOT BRING UP THE RELATIONSHIP....DO NOT BRING UP THE RELATIONSHIP...

 

If she brings it up, then I will refer you to "The Perfect Plan" in the Getting Back Together section. Read that before you go.

 

Have some jokes ready for her. Hopefully you have made some physical improvements and definitely highlight these for her. Be extremely confident in yourself. Remember the qualities that first attracted her to you...Definitely stash some jokes away. Tell her that, "you've been great, extremely busy, working, hanging with friends, etc...don't make it seem like you are just sitting around!!!" If it gets dull, bring up the weather, politics, sports...anything BUT THE PAST.

 

Get back to me and let me know how things went for you. Remember,

 

DO NOT BRING UP THE RELATIONSHIP!

[enkymion]

enky - what is the purpose of the 2 of you meeting? are you just catching up or rekindling?

 

I'm not exactly sure... The break was mainly my fault.

[IMAbadman]

So what happened? How did your meeting go?