I've let go but she won't...

[4EverNight]

There is a woman I had seen for some time and I know it was wrong because she had a boyfriend. To make a long story short, I was finally able to walk away though I cared for her deeply. After I left, she still tries to maintain contact. It's difficult not to see her because we work together and I run into her from time to time. She is now engaged to her boyfriend and still wants to contact me and tell me how she feels for me and that she can't decide what it is she wants. I am seeing someone else now (she doesn't have a boyfriend) and I am not quite sure how to deal with the situation from the other girl. She hates the person I'm seeing with a passion for whatever reason. I don't know what it is she wants from me now considering she is engaged. I'm still friends with her somewhat due to work. Though I've told her that there is nothing between us anymore I don't think she is taking what I say to her. I don't want to be mean to her but just to leave this all alone so that we both can go on with our lives. Any suggestions?

[Mar]

I would just suggest that you pull her aside/call her, and state in no uncertain terms that you're happy with your life now, as she should be with her FIANCE (I'd stress that word) and that she should be somewhat more mature in her attitude, and understanding of the fact that you didn't want to play second fiddle to the man she's now ENGAGED to! Her inability to make up her mind as to what she wants isn't taking your feelings on the matter into consideration whatseover...she certainly has no right to be angry at the fact that you didn't feel like waiting around until she figured it out! I can't see why she'd have a difficult time understanding that.

 

As far as her feelings of dislike for your current girlfriend, I'd think that was pure jealousy on her part, nothing more. Disregard it-her feelings on your girlfriend are of no importance. If she can't act in a mature, responsible manner and see the reasoning behind why you didn't want to lose self-respect by staying with someone who was already taken, you're not going to be able to talk much more sense into her and will just have to deal with her as briefly as possible. I wish the best of luck to you.

 

Mar

[4EverNight]

Mar,

 

Thanks for the advice. Hopefully things will be smooth and life will just go on. Unfortunately I don't think it'll be that easy, she just wants everything and for some reason I fill a spot for her that her fiance doesn't but that's the past. Thanks for the reply.