wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Okay here is the low down on my situation since the break up... I made it about 2 weeks complete NC at least none initiated on my part... I am going NC right now starting this very moment... Now here is where things get interesting... It was my bday the other day and I really didnt expect to hear from her... She texts me "Happy Birthday Sweetie I love you" I saw her sister on my way home and texted her that and that I missed her nephew... I then say Im sorry and Im starting to realize what a great thing I had and I shouldnt have kept telling her what I miss because I know its too late and it doesnt change the situation... A few hours later she says out of nowhere. "I hope someday when your ready to accept what you have you will want to be with me in the future Made me happy and ended my bday on a good note... dont hear from her all day the next day so I decide to do LC because I miss her so damn much... so I say hi and keep it simple... ask her what she has been up to and tell her I love her... Later last night I was talking to her best friend who I must mention has some pretty deep feelings for me but I dont see her like that... So she tell me that earlier that day she told her she was happy with this new guy and wants to see where it goes with him... Now some background on her and this rebound.... She met him the week we broke up they went on a couple dates and said they were dating after a week of knowing each other... My first question..."is it possible for after a 2 almost 3 year relationship to get over that person and move on to be truly happy with someone new?" I know this guy is 26 and he seems like a nice guy and Im glad she is happy... He has alot of qualities that I was lacking... mostly the being responsible ones and having his life for the most part figured out... this is something I have completely corrected since the break up a month ago... She is only 18 and it seems to me like she is exploring and going through a party phase as she has been drinking alot lately... Her friend also told me that all she wants is to settle down and be a wife a mother and finish her degree... what do I make of the situation?... Is there any way to "get her back" someday?... What should I think of what she said in the text on my bday?... I miss her so much and am at the point where I know what I want I just need to figure out how to get there... any ideas? Link to comment
Vicki1983 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 All I can say on this is, if you are really meant to be then she will come back, whether it's in a week or a year. If she is only 18 just now and you were with her for almost 3 years then obviously you were together when she was very young. Maybe she feels she just needs to experience other things in life before settling down? Sorry I've not been much help, but just my honest opinion! Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 All I can say on this is, if you are really meant to be then she will come back, whether it's in a week or a year. If she is only 18 just now and you were with her for almost 3 years then obviously you were together when she was very young. Maybe she feels she just needs to experience other things in life before settling down? Sorry I've not been much help, but just my honest opinion! I do value that opinion and after everything I found out last night I am beginning to think that that is the case... What do you make of "I hope someday when you are ready to accept what you have you will want to be with me in the future"... She said this on my bday... and then supposudly tells her friend that she wants to persue this guy (rebound) she is with... Granted I cant believe much of what her friend tells me because she has a romantic interest in me... but I thought i would ask some opinions Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ah yes... contact her daily, that's the LC of NC or is that NC of LC. Seek out her friends and family and let them know how you feel too. Drummer... what are you doing? You know better than this. Come on man. Link to comment
Vicki1983 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hmmm yeah I'd defo not take any notice of what her friend says, especially if she has feelings for you. She's not exactly going to tell you that your ex is missing you and wants to get back together now is she? Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ah yes... contact her daily, that's the LC of NC or is that NC of LC. Seek out her friends and family and let them know how you feel too. Drummer... what are you doing? You know better than this. Come on man. Okay first off im not seeking out her friends... we have been friends for a while... and she is the only person I can turn to that will listen to what I have to say... And the sister thing I saw her outside a bar when I was driving by... just made me think of her nephew... So what do you suggest I do then... Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hmmm yeah I'd defo not take any notice of what her friend says, especially if she has feelings for you. She's not exactly going to tell you that your ex is missing you and wants to get back together now is she? Thats what i needed to hear... thank you Link to comment
Vicki1983 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 No problem at all, I don't tell people what they want to hear I always just give my honest opinion! Hope youn get it all sorted out hun. Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 No problem at all, I don't tell people what they want to hear I always just give my honest opinion! Hope youn get it all sorted out hun. Yeah me too... I cry myself to sleep cry when I wake up and cry when I come home to an empty house... all the while she is out having fun living her life and being "happy" I feel so pathetic sometimes Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Drummer don't beat yourself up. Stand up and be proud. Let go, I mean really let go. I realize you love this girl but your killing your emotions and chances of a future reconciliation. You'll be happy to it just takes time. Be the person she fell in love with once again. Not the person she currently isn't in love with. Link to comment
riley123 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hey buddy, I know this is not what you want to hear, but if this girl really cared for you then she would be with you. Now, of course I understand she’s young and feels compelled to have more experiences, but you need to come to terms with the fact that she’s gone. Stop wondering if/when she’ll come back because the bottom line is that she might or she might not. Nobody knows. The best thing you can do is to make an effort to cut her out of your life. She’s trying to eliminate her own guilt be saying things she knows you want to here. Don’t allow her to do this. Believe me, cutting off contact and trying to let go of any thoughts or expectations of them coming back is hard, I know because I’m going through it myself. Be strong. Resolve that you’re going to let her go and you’re going to start living YOUR life. PM me anytime you want to talk. Link to comment
Vicki1983 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Yeah me too... I cry myself to sleep cry when I wake up and cry when I come home to an empty house... all the while she is out having fun living her life and being "happy" I feel so pathetic sometimes Well as hard as it may be, you need to get back out there and have some fun too. It's not doing you, or any future reconciliation any good by you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Chin up sweetie Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Well as hard as it may be, you need to get back out there and have some fun too. It's not doing you, or any future reconciliation any good by you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Chin up sweetie yeah I know i need to get "out" I just know im not ready for any future relationship not now not anytime soon... Im not feeling sorry for myself just missing her being in my life... Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 NC it is... I texted her one last time this morning before I even got on here... I just told her best friend (my friend who has been there to listen to me but admitted that she is jealous because she has an emotional attachment to me) that I cannot talk to her anymore because it just gives me one more way to hear how happy she is... Im out of her life completely except for her to come and get the rest of her stuff out... I wont be there for her as she is not there for me now... This is going to put me in the best position for reconciliation... Your right I need to find myself and be the person she fell in love with... as hard as this may be you guys are my only support now... Need you all more than ever now Link to comment
riley123 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 NC it is... I texted her one last time this morning before I even got on here... I just told her best friend (my friend who has been there to listen to me but admitted that she is jealous because she has an emotional attachment to me) that I cannot talk to her anymore because it just gives me one more way to hear how happy she is... Im out of her life completely except for her to come and get the rest of her stuff out... I wont be there for her as she is not there for me now... This is going to put me in the best position for reconciliation... Your right I need to find myself and be the person she fell in love with... as hard as this may be you guys are my only support now... Need you all more than ever now Hey buddy, We’re all here for you! Keep posting! But please stop thinking that NC will put you in the best position to reconcile. Don’t think about that right now. Protect and heal yourself so you can decide with a CLEAR head and HEALED heart whether you really would reconcile with her. The only way to get them back is to move forward without them. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 yeah I know i need to get "out" I just know im not ready for any future relationship not now not anytime soon... Im not feeling sorry for myself just missing her being in my life... Drummer we're all here to support you but did you ever consider getting some professional help? I think it might be a wise choice. Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Drummer we're all here to support you but did you ever consider getting some professional help? I think it might be a wise choice. Thought about it.. but its hard for me to talk face to face with someone about my problems. now the other thing is getting advice from a professional who may not have first hand experience is a waste to me... hence why I sought after this forum because there are alot of people on her that have or are going through the same situation... so those are my thoughts on professional help... though I am on medication that seems to help (when I take it) Link to comment
wannabeboosted Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hey buddy, We’re all here for you! Keep posting! But please stop thinking that NC will put you in the best position to reconcile. Don’t think about that right now. Protect and heal yourself so you can decide with a CLEAR head and HEALED heart whether you really would reconcile with her. The only way to get them back is to move forward without them. Your right NC is for me... The resulting effect is that it puts me in the best position for possible reconciliation... I already have thought with a clear head on what I want this is why it is making it that much harder for me to do NC.. but it is for the best so Here we go... get ready to see alot of me on this forum... Link to comment
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