What went wrong...how can I get her back?

[Minh04]

A while ago I met a friend ago, from way back. I was a party and she was there, and we reconized each other. She used to come over my house all the time around 8 yrz ago, but we only played around, we were only kids then. Now I saw this beautiful girl and knew I felt different. So we talked and we decided we both liked each other now, and got together, things went great. The problem was We lived so far away, and I did not have a car, netiher did she. We rarely got to see each otehr, but everytiem it was worht it. She made me 1000 stars origami and told me to make a wish, and like any other guy, I said "i dont have to, you alreayd came true." So things went great, but out of the blue last week she calls me and tells me she needs time to think about us, and how she feels. SHe says I cant trust her, and shes tried so much. She had a previous relationship 3 yrs ago im not sure shes quite over. I tried to work it out, but she said i never listen, and apprently she wasnt either. I told her how I felt, all the things I wanted to from the begginging but never found the words for...I even say the three words. But ... she says she wats to be friends. I dotn want to be friends with her, I want to be more, so help me, what do you think I should do to get her back? I dont want to call her much because i might seem weak, but what if i dont and she feels I dont need her? Relationships are confusing, any tips or sugeestions...thanks.

[neallo82288]

Leave her alone. If she is truly worth it she will get the message that you aren't going to wait for her so she must contact you. If she is not worth it then you do not need to waste your time worring about her. You may feel that she is worth it, but give her time and space! She will be back.

 

On another note, sounds to me that she was unfaithful. She said that you cannot trust her. Well, that sounds a little bit of guilt, which is why she is letting you go. If this is true then run run run as fast as you can.

[MrKawabata]

This is kind of what I am going through. I got my girlfriend back through seeing things from her point of view, admitting that I was wrong, understanding and accepting her situation, and sent her a really nice card. She responded to that positively and now I am taking things nice and slow with her.

 

You have to go at her own pace. Be patient, and wait for her to catch you up. Use the time to build up her trust and allow her to get to know you better. I don't mean to sound critical, but it sounds like you could improve your listening skills. Listen to what SHE is saying to you. For me, I need to learn patience. Sensitive girls are very good at picking up character flaws in their mates. Treat it as a learning experience from one who cares for you. Best wishes. Merry Xmas.

[russia]

yeah, man. you don't listen too good. that's normal for guys, but lousy for holding on to a relationship. if the woman says she wants to be friends. she means it.

 

you want more, then you have to improve your conversational skills. go take up some listening skills courses. that really helps.

 

cos so far, you are so caught up in your own dream world, you haven't a clue how to make her tick. after the first weeks of romantic love, life goes on, and the daily inputs into her love bank now becomes a task. if you do only what you think she likes, you will be wasting quite a lot of effort. you have to do what she will like. and do you really know that? you can only if you listen real well. so back to square one. go for some lessons.

 

as for this relationship, it might be too late to save it. you have to already be able to listen to a woman before entering the relationship. once in, there's no time for self-improvement.

[Minh04]

this one seems like a keeper though. So should I call her to try and work things out, or just not and hope it will work itself out?

[kuhl282000]

Hey little Hurting Brother

 

I have learned that when they say they want to be friends. It is pretty much over. They reallt don't want to hurt us, and it is their nice way of letting us down easy. Even though it hurt, and it will for sometime. It is time to move on. What kind of relationship could you possibility have living so far away with no cars. Your not weak, your confused. Love sickness will do that to all of us. And it will make you sick if you let it. She stated what she wants, respect that. My ex wanted to be friends also, I'm sorry but I like you wanted more. I though she was a keeper to. But she had other plans, and guess what, I was not included. What ever the gift you received, cherrish it...or put it away. I suggest putting it somewhere you can't see it for now. The "No Contact" rule seems to apply here. I have not spoken to mine in over a month. Seems like a year. Would I love to talk to her see her and make love to her. You Bet !!!! Would I love to call her ?

I can't it will only keep the wound open and I'm healing slowly everyday.

If you call you said you could not mustard up 3 words before. Trust me on this you will sound like a begging desperate fool trying to get her back. And no one likes desperate. The hardest thing to do is to accept the fact that it is over. When you can do that, then you can move on. No one really knows what the future holds. But I do know that when your trying to hold on to something you don't have. Well then your really not living in reality.

 

Hope you find some peace, I know how tough it was and still is on me.

But everyday it gets alittle better.

 

Kuhl