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Not coping well


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My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago. Im not taking it the best.


We met when we were 22 and were a great couple who everyone thought we would end up together forever. We had a rocky start as she had an abortion 2 weeks before we started but thought i was really nice so she thought this was a good thing. I stayed with her as she was worth it and she made a mistake (she wasnt serious with the guy and the condom split). We had a great 2 years doing everything with each other as this is both our first proper relationship. She always got bored really fast with guys before, i dont know what i did to make it last 3 years.


About a year ago she bought her own flat and moved out of her mums house. She changed a bit by not wanting to be as silly with me anymore and we went from lying together on a bed most nights a week to sitting on separate seats at her house. i know it wasnt a big deal but i let her know and let it slide. At the time i didnt see she had picked up a lot of responsibility and she has an important job.


Im still a student with 1 year left and she was always ok with that but maybe it got to her. i didnt really have a lot of money to take her places and it didnt bother her before but think as her friend at work had just got into a relationship and the guy is taking her places and buying expensive items in the first few months bothered her.


I was ment to move in with her, i said i was unsure is its about an hour away from everyone i know and its far from university but as i love her i would move in with her. I went looking for a job around her area for a few months before we broke up so she knew i was serious about moving. A month before we broke up she said she liked to be on her own and i should move in with her now, but in a years time when i was ready. i was sad and a bit relieved at the time.


Then she broke up with me a month ago saying she doesnt feel appreciated by me and thinks im lazy and she feels my friends came before her, and i need to grow up a bit. i was heartbroken and did all the begging and pleading saying i will change.


she was in contact with me every 3 or 4 days in the first month and we got on as well as we always have and said we missed each other but she wanted some space but i could talk to her if i needed to. we planned to meet up after a month to go to the cinema and her favourite restaurant. we were talkin on MSN one night for about 4 hours and things were feeling like old times. Then i let slip that i lied about being tested for an STD. I had lied in the first 3 days we were together when she asked me. i know it was really stupid but i didnt think i had anything and i really liked her.


Anyway she said shes so mad and disappointed in me we didnt meet up as it was ment to be last week and we havent really spoken in the last 2 weeks.

Saw her on MSN and she started speaking to me but then after an hour it turned sour by her saying i didnt care about her and lied to her about something really important, i told her i did care and want another chance to make things right. She said shes too hurt to see me right now and wants to be on her own. she asked if we can be friends for now and i stupidly said, yes but you know i still love you.


a few days after i told her my results (clean) after i went to the clinic to be checked and we sent about 10 messages to each other just what we have been up to.

And later that night when i signed on MSN she was on so i said "hi" and she said she was just going to bed but then started asking me what ive been up to and we spoke for about 10 mins before she said she is going to bed. Her name really annoyed me tho - "Im the girl your mother warned you about"


Doesnt sound like a girl whos sad that she broke up with me anymore and probably is looking to move on now.


I have deleted her contact on MSN and never go on really anyway and im in NC with her at the moment.


Im not coping the best im crying every morning and cant get her out my head. Im very depressed at the moment. i Want her back so much i just want a shot to show her i do love her. ive started going to the gym, going out with friends and playing guitar but its not really making me forget.


Is there any advice anyone can give me, i want her back but think shes looking to move on now, she probably wants space to find another guy, even tho im still her top friend on bebo and shes not taken down any photos of us together.


She also has a birthday in 2 weeks, do i send a card?

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Hey Method


Sorry you didn't get any replies to your post.


My advice is no different mate - you really have to step right back from this. You cannot make someone come back - they have to want to come back.


Try not to look on bebo because it will just wind you up.


So far as a birthday card is concerned, I personally wouldn't bother because it is not going to change anything really.


I know you are finding it tough but you have to give this a bit more time - I promise it will get easier. It is good that you are keeping busy - going to the gym, going out with mates, playing the guitar. It won't make you forget at the start but trust me - things will begin to settle down.


Come back here for some support mate - it will help a lot.



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