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Say hello to Dignity!

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I’m slowly gaining my dignity back and it feels great! Even though the ex and I have broken up since last July, we continued to talk on the phone and be “friends” whenever I’m in town. He no longer wanted a relationship, but had no problem sleeping with me. Being a complete fool (because I loved him so much) I allowed for this man to treat me poorly…I was no longer “girlfriend material” he could have sex with me without feeling any obligation to call or be emotionally available. He made excuses; he rationalized his selfish actions by saying that “I was too good for him and he didn’t want to hold me back any longer. That’s why we can’t date.” I was left hurt, confused, clingy, needy, desperate…the whole package. I kept trying to win his love.


I’m back in Texas for the summer (due to an internship) and, two weeks ago, it would have been our 2 years anniversary. I was feeling completely vulnerable that night so I called him. He picked up, put me on speaker phone and introduced me to his new girlfriend. Just like that. Did he not know how hurtful that was? We ended up having a nasty text message war…and I was just…so broken inside. Why did he do that when he knew that I still love him? After that, I finally decided that it was time to move on. I cannot humiliate myself any longer; it was killing my spirit and jeopardizing my passions. No more begging. I am slowly going to regain myself and transform into the confident woman I’ve always wanted to become.


For the past two weeks, I have been on strict NC. The internship is keeping me busy and I’m enjoying the challenging work. I’m studying for my law-school entrance exam and taking time to see the art galleries downtown. I’m reading books and spending time with my family. Even though I’m still hurting inside, I know I can overcome this. What I’ve learned through this relationship is that, no matter what, it is NEVER too late to regain your dignity. I am ashamed of the crying/pleading woman I became…and I vow to NEVER be her again.


Call me a cynic, but I’ve also learned that, when it comes to relationship, it is best to plan short-term and never completely rely on anyone. In the beginning, he told me that I was “the love of his life” and talked about marriage, he gave me a ring that supposedly meant “eternal love”. What a bunch of bull crap. I spoke to my dad and he (jokingly) said that I’m cold-hearted. I don’t want to be jaded, but I think I’m defiantly more realistic now. I have a bright future to look forward to and I have my dignity to nurture. No more begging; I will NOT be made a fool of any longer. No man is worth my self-respect.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and this is a perfect example of that. I can relate to you completely...I was with this guy who pretty much dissed me, but I stuck around because I thought I could change his mind...he took advantage of my vulnerability and fed off it as long as I would let him... Never again!

You are going places and you deserve a good man who will support you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. You go girl!

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