GoldenHillGuy Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 I feel awful this morning. I had been doing so well on the road to healing with NC. Then she sent me a text. I completely ignored it. It felt great at first, but started to really get to me. That was Wednesday. Friday night, I'm feeling kinda low, so me and some friends go to a bar to play pool. I'm out smoking a cigarette, when this guy walks by. I'm pretty sure that is the guy she had been talking to about our relationship problems. Not sure, but he is kinda staring at me as he walks by. I watch him walk by and down the road into a lounge my ex usually goes to. I try not to think too much of it. I had a bit too much to drink, and while driving home with my friends, I spot her car in the area. I drop my friends off, and go back to confirm. I know, stupid me. Sure enough its her car. The alcohol is affecting my judgement, so I decide to park and wait to see if she is with him. 15 minutes later, she walks to her car with her girlfriend. I thought there were others with her, but I could be wrong. I start to follow them in the car. At one point, she got stopped by a red light, and we got a bit too close. I thought I saw her friend turn around and look out the back window. I'm totally embarrassed at this point, and make a turn to get away. I know the club she was going to, and wanted so bad to go there to see if the guy was there. But logic kicks in, and I just go home. I had been doing so well. I was really proud of myself for being so strong in this breakup. Now, if she saw me, I'll look like a freak stalker. I feel so crappy this morning. I let my mind run wild. And still found no evidence. And what does it matter if I did anyways. Crap, I feel low!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 Well it doesn't matter what she thinks,right?If you are broken up then you have to let go.It's hard to do but learn from last night and don't practice 'stalker' type behaviour ever again. Link to comment
desi1987 Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 First of all stop beating yourself up about this Golden...we all make mistakes. I am in no contact right now and my ex sent me a txt which i ignored. But then she emailed me and i emailed her back and blah blah phone calls were exchanged..shouted at each other..at the end of the convo i felt worse than before it started. The point is...your not perfect neither am I..as far as this whole following her to see if she was with another guy..ok a little drastic..but you just were drunk and not totally in control..take that into account as well. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and realize how bad it feels after we mess up..so hopefully it wont happen again. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted June 7, 2008 Author Share Posted June 7, 2008 Well it doesn't matter what she thinks,right?If you are broken up then you have to let go.It's hard to do but learn from last night and don't practice 'stalker' type behaviour ever again. It kinda does.........We had talked about reconciliation, but expressed that we both need time to work on our issues. I don't even know if this was the guy. Kinda looked like him. My mind was playing tricks on me. I feel bad. NC is NOT just texting, emails, and phone calls. Its completely disappearing. Gosh, I hope she didn't see me. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 Okay but remember how you feel now before you even think of following her around again.I hope you weren't seen ....and learn from this,okay? Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted June 7, 2008 Author Share Posted June 7, 2008 Don't drink and drive! #-o I know. I don't think I should be drinking at all at this point. Its done me no good. It only gets my mind running crazy, and I get weak. Okay but remember how you feel now before you even think of following her around again.I hope you weren't seen ....and learn from this,okay? You bet! I feel so bad now, I'll never do it again. I hope to God I wasn't seen. Who knows. She'll let me know if I was seen I'm sure. What sucks is I've been so strong this whole time. I mean only strong around her, but obviously weak at times. I've prided how I've handled this break up. But now, I feel like a tool, and it seems like its turning into a bad break up. But again, its all in my mind probably. I'm definitely gonna learn from this one. Thanks for reading. I am just too embarrassed to tell my family and friends. I HOPE SHE DIDN'T SEE........................ Link to comment
Roxy Rose Posted June 7, 2008 Share Posted June 7, 2008 I know. I don't think I should be drinking at all at this point. Its done me no good. It only gets my mind running crazy, and I get weak. In the first few weeks of my break-up I had to drink until I passed out to get to sleep. I'm over that now. It did me no good. Link to comment
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