my girlfriend has never had an orgasm i wanna help

[drinkerandthinker]

ok heres the thing my girl friend is a virgin but im an exceptionally experienced person . heres a weird tidbit but not really related i dont think to my question,shes 22 im 19 so im younger. To my question though ive tried everything in my sexual repetrois (sp) short of intercourse and i havent been able to give her an orgasm.She says shes never had one before from a partner or by st herself. ....what can i do to help her out. i wanna reciprocate the pleasure i receive. I mean is she just not capable? Thinks ahead for any input

[Cid]

Well ont thing all of us guys need to know is that most of the time the girl will not have an orgasm, I think it is about a 3% of the time they will have one. But dont let get you down just give it time and you will stumble on the "spot" and she will have one. Well I hope that this helps.

[Mar]

Unfortunately, most women find it harder to have an orgasm than men do. It's a rare percentage of women who will have an orgasm during sex, and some women just mature in that sense more slowly than men do. I've talked to a lot of women who didn't have one until their mid-twenties, and that was only after masturbation and trying various techniques, not from sex! But don't give up hope, even if she can't have an orgasm right now, it doesn't mean she's not still enjoying the intimacy!

 

Ask her what feels good to her, anx experiment a little. If you notice that she breathes a little faster when you touch certain spots, concentrate on those spots. But #1 rule: DON'T BE ROUGH! Generally the parts that make her feel good are also sensitive, such as the clitoris, and rubbing it or other sensitive parts too hard will merely hurt/kill that sensual feeling, so use a gentle touch and only slight pressure, unless she tells you otherwise. But there's nothing wrong with asking her what she likes, and she'll appreciate your concern that she's feeling good!

 

 

Mar

[MrDraw]

Hi drinkerandthinker,

Your message doesnt say if you've talked about it with you girlfriend, but in my opinion you have to do just that!

I think your problem is your selfconfidence about your sexual-expertise.

Don't get me wrong, but you're very young and just can't have all the experience you think you have, otherwise your girlfriend would have reached an orgasm many times.

Put your "experience" aside and take a different approach on sex.

In my opinion your girlfriend is maybe affraid to be to lesser girlfriend if she doesn't live up to your experience.

You have to make her more comfortable and let her tell you wat to do.

And please read a book about sex and how to do it. There are many GOOD ways to let woman have a orgasm too!

You still have a lot to learn!!

[Mar]

I have to disagree, MrDraw.....many women I know and have read about simply do NOT orgasm in the blink of an eye, and it has nothing to do with a male's performance; furthermore, it places undue burden and stress on a man to say that, if he had more experience or was doing it right, she'd have one! This, as I said, is more caused simply by not being sexually matured, or by not having had the right stimulation or enough of it to have reached an orgasm. I myself have been with experienced men who were WONDERFUL in bed, but wasn't stimulated in the correct way, and thus didn't have my first one until I was 26.

 

So, again, yes, a man MAY give a woman orgasm during actual intercourse, but it's rare, as the parts just don't usually fit together right to really stimulate a woman to climax. The foreplay and learning where to touch and how much/how little is really what's going to stimulate her to orgasm, and the best way to learn is to ask her what feels good!

 

Mar

[Auriqua]

Hi, here an advise from the woman point of view.

 

The advise of MrDraw comes close to mine. However, a genuine orgasm is not so simple and takes patience, time and a lot of communication. Keep in mind, many women can fake so real their bf does not even know that their gf never had a orgasm. So, it is a good sign that she is wanting to communicate about this topic openly.

 

Before talking to your gf please make sure that she is comfortable talking about this. I can imagine is rather unusual to talk about sex for someone.

 

You say she does not reach a orgasm by her own. Find out what she tried for that and try a slightly different approach.

 

You should really talk to your girlfriend. Maybe she is getting nervous of you, because you are bragging about your experience and that emphasise her lack of it. Do not only talk to her before and after but also during. Ask her if she likes it. Some women like to be touched at other places than just the known sexual places.

 

If I may recommend you a book on sex: please read

Sexual Secrets: the alchemy of ectasy. It translates the most known sexual books like the Kuma Sutra, the Ananga Ranga and the taoism view on love / sex into modern language. The beginning of this book is rather boring, but part 2 should really help!

 

Keep in mind to carefully introduce this to your girlfriend. Not all women are even open-minded about sex and all related stuff around it.