What are we?? Defining my relationship...

[lvlyldy]

I need a little help putting things into perspective... (sorry a little long, but I would really appreciate your help!!!)

 

 

I'm now graduating from college in 6 months, and my current situation is kind of confusing me. I have known the guy I am now seeing pretty much all my life (we've been going to the same schools), but we were never close. In college last year we got reacquainted and became good friends. He went to study abroad last semester and when he came back in December we began seeing each other. He made it clear in the beginning he wouldnt want anything serious, and wanted to restrict our relationship to being good friends and messing around occasionally. Because I'm so close to leaving school anyway (and I'm totally crazy about this guy) I went along with it. As time progressed we had ups and downs and ended things a few times because I still wanted more and he didnt and that inherently caused problems between us.

 

In March we ended things in a bad way, but we eventually made up and after that we became very close. Seeing each other everyday, and basically doing everything together. I am basically head over heels for this guy at this point, but he still insists he doesnt want anything serious. He's applying to grad school and he's currently studying to take his exams and will soon have to deal with the application process. He'll be leaving our college mid-august to be moving back home, and claims these two reasons are holding him back from wanting more (even though I will be moving back home (same area) 5 months after he returns home) .

 

I am currently at home for the next 3 weeks for the summer before i return back for summer classes, and he's still at our college studying for his exams. At this point, im confused about what to do. Should I end things because they arent ever going to be serious and I can save myself heartache for when he leaves in mid-august, or should I stick with him and just enjoy what I have? When I'm with him im so happy, and so comfortable- but Im also afraid that I'll just get more attached Should I try to talk to him again? Or should I just accept the relationship we have (which is really great as it is- just has no title).

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

 

 

EDIT: I forgot to mention this, but basically Im asking this question because when I get back we only have a month together, and we've planned to spend every minute living it up until he has to go. With such an intense (and amazingly fun!) month planned together, I'm starting to hesitate and wondering whether I should end things before ever getting into that, or just having an amazing last month together knowing in the end I'll be even more sad to lose him if he doenst change his mind to want to continue after he leaves.

[Angel_baby]

I think leaving him would be best for you. He isn't going to change his mind about what he wants as he has made it clear that he wants nothing serious.

 

By leaving now you can avoid even more heartache later on.

[lvlyldy]

So even if he acts like we're in a relationship (holds my hand when we study, cuddles with me in front of my friends, spends all his free time with me, talks to me everyday)- i cant just take his actions to mean more than his words?

[looscroo]

Well, If this guy says he doesn't want anything serious, you have to take him at his word. If you want something from him that he doesn't want to give, you'd probably be better off without him. If you think you can be happy with less than you want, you can give it a shot. In my experience, even though you know he wants to keep it light, it's hard to keep from getting more involved, more attached on your part, which just makes it that much harder when things ultimately don't go the way you want.