donescobar2000 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I IMed her after a week of NC...I said..."if you wanted me to move on...why didnt you say so? Simple... The folowing argument ensued. Her: What Her: Do not. donescobar2000: Do not what? Her: Do not come at me after just stopping talking to me with this Her: U stopped talking to me. Her: Riiight Her: Can you tell me how mario got my instant messenger name tho? donescobar2000: I couldn't tell you. donescobar2000: It is on your facebook donescobar2000: Why didn't u feel the need to say anything to me? donescobar2000: I asked u a question and did not answer me. Her: To say what to you when donescobar2000: Last Wed donescobar2000: The last time we talked. Her: And what question. The one you so rudely asked me just now. I didn't say I wanted to move on Her: Last time we talked was last monday Her: Its been over a week donescobar2000: I asked u if we shared a common goal. donescobar2000: And I never got a reply donescobar2000: So what do you want? donescobar2000: I'm confused. ----------------------------------------- 3:19 pm ----------------------------------------- Her: You got no imediate reply and then when I look at my sk I see you telling me you know what don't answer that. Her: So I've been angry all week at you. I feel I can tell you that Her: And I don't feel we have the same goal anymore. donescobar2000: What's ur goal then? Her: Actually I feel like you are bored so that's why you hit me up just now. Her: All week I just chalked it up to you rolling out again. donescobar2000: No no Her: I don't have one donescobar2000: I'm actually hurt donescobar2000: So I'm guessing we are done? donescobar2000: I don't think u believe how hurt I am. donescobar2000: Ask around people will tell u Her: What people donescobar2000: My friends donescobar2000: Even people u know Her: Why would other people know Her: Its not their business Her: Maybe you should have been talking to me and not them donescobar2000: I try to talk to u donescobar2000: But its like u don't beleieve it donescobar2000: Can't u tell? Her: Tell what donescobar2000: Maybe u can't because I'm not begging u donescobar2000: Or all that donescobar2000: But all I been doing is gving u space donescobar2000: Hoping ull come around. donescobar2000: Tell that I'm hurtng. Her: You seem like you are doing fine and enjoying the space donescobar2000: What makes u feel that? Her: Hadn't heard from ya so that's what I thought donescobar2000: I'm not playing a game. donescobar2000: I'm beyond that. Her: I didn't say anything about games donescobar2000: Then what's the problem? donescobar2000: Why don't u believe my words? Her: I don't have any problems Her: Why you hit me up today anyway Her: I told you Her: I said I thought you were fine ----------------------------------------- 3:29 pm ----------------------------------------- Her: That's what it seemed like to me donescobar2000: u just don't believe my words donescobar2000: All too crazy donescobar2000: When I tell I care for u...its meaningless Her: Are you even reading what I'm typing donescobar2000: Well I'm not fine Her: And do you forget in the car you said twice to me Her: This isn't going to work Her: Because I do. donescobar2000: I want it too donescobar2000: I would like everything we had donescobar2000: But u been so distant donescobar2000: I don't know what to do anymore. donescobar2000: I misinterpredated ur "because I do" Her: What donescobar2000: I thought u said u did want it work with that "because I do" Her: That was in reference to me asking you if you remember saying that to me donescobar2000: I know now. donescobar2000: So what's next? I never got a response...If she ever wakes up she will...I am done...I can not go on anymore... Link to comment
i_win Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I think you're both being childish. It sounds like you are both trying to teach eachother a lesson by giving eachother the silence treatment in hopes that someone comes forward and accepts the blame. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 I think you're both being childish. It sounds like you are both trying to teach eachother a lesson by giving eachother the silence treatment in hopes that someone comes forward and accepts the blame. On my part...that was not the intention...I no longer know what to do... I agree....I feel like a lot of games are being played...but it nothing intentional on my end. I asked a question and told her not to answer it...not to stop talking to me...it is her. Link to comment
lainOS Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 terrible communication on both your parts. having it on IM dioesnt help either. i dont think you were listening to her. if you had been there would have been a chance, if you really think you can talk to her again and she'll even be receptive you need to listen and communicate a hell of a lot better. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 terrible communication on both your parts. having it on IM dioesnt help either. i dont think you were listening to her. if you had been there would have been a chance, if you really think you can talk to her again and she'll even be receptive you need to listen and communicate a hell of a lot better. Im am with you...you are not the only person who said this to me. Link to comment
lainOS Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 dude, i hate to say it. but the problem is YOU. you TOTALLY could have turned things around in that conversation, you guys could probly even be together right now. but you cant communicate or even listen to her at all. you need to learn the art of "working things out". she has feelings concerns and confusions about this. you apparently do too. be ATTENTIVE to her feelings, address her concerns, clarify yourself. GENTLY and with tact in how you speak. you're just really bad at this. sorry. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 dude, i hate to say it. but the problem is YOU. you TOTALLY could have turned things around in that conversation, you guys could probly even be together right now. but you cant communicate or even listen to her at all. you need to learn the art of "working things out". she has feelings concerns and confusions about this. you apparently do too. be ATTENTIVE to her feelings, address her concerns, clarify yourself. GENTLY and with tact in how you speak. you're just really bad at this. sorry. I understand. I know I could probably be better...but where does someone learn this? Link to comment
lainOS Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I asked a question and told her not to answer it...not to stop talking to me...it is her. my guess is it came off as a "know what? nevermind! f--- it!" would you start talking so easily if someone you loved had said taht to you? sorry the last post came off kinda harsh from me. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 my guess is it came off as a "know what? nevermind! f--- it!" would you start talking so easily if someone you loved had said taht to you? sorry the last post came off kinda harsh from me. I can see that point of view...but that was not the case. Link to comment
lainOS Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 know I could probably be better...but where does someone learn this? i dont really know, all i think ive ever learned about how to deal with people has probably come from me imagining how it would feel to be them. or how it would feel if i was on the other end of the conversation. if i care about a person enough, it's kind of an "always on" thing i dont have to consciously try to hard with. i think all it takes is looking at someone else's side. imagining where you'd stand if you were looking thru theyre eyes. dont quote me (really) but for example... "im sorry, that i said that to you, i was (explain whatever you were feeling/thinking when you said it). i didnt mean that i didnt want us to speak or that we should end. i thought that you didnt want to talk to me (etc etc) after, i didnt realize that what i had said.... im sorry for coming back after a week with this attitude, i didnt understand that you were feeling this way...i think you get the point. have an HONEST communication, it seems pretty easy to me. hopefully, the honest truths are admittable. and hey if you CANT understand theyre side, ask! i think she already made her side clear to you in that conversation. but you werent listening. if you still have the chance, start! and you have the damage of this conversation to work out now too. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Ive have done that in the past...I was reacting off emotion I guess...but at the moment...I really feel that will not even help... I just do not know if I should do this...or if I should just see if she will talk to me on her own. Link to comment
Confusedashellmyself Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 terrible communication on both your parts. having it on IM dioesnt help either. i dont think you were listening to her. if you had been there would have been a chance, if you really think you can talk to her again and she'll even be receptive you need to listen and communicate a hell of a lot better dude, i hate to say it. but the problem is YOU. you TOTALLY could have turned things around in that conversation, you guys could probly even be together right now. but you cant communicate or even listen to her at all. you need to learn the art of "working things out". she has feelings concerns and confusions about this. you apparently do too. be ATTENTIVE to her feelings, address her concerns, clarify yourself. GENTLY and with tact in how you speak. you're just really bad at this. sorry and hey if you CANT understand theyre side, ask! i think she already made her side clear to you in that conversation. but you werent listening. if you still have the chance, start! and you have the damage of this conversation to work out now too. Ive have done that in the past...I was reacting off emotion I guess...but at the moment...I really feel that will not even help... I just do not know if I should do this...or if I should just see if she will talk to me on her own Sir, ya best start learning to listen, I read your post like many others have and could clearly see the problem, sorry to put it this way, but shut up, learn to listen, shes telling you what you want to hear to get her back but you somehow arent hearing it, take a week off, goto the mountains, do something and think about it, sounds to me she is and or was willing to listen, by chance( be honest) was this conversation you posted with her when you were drinking? Be honest with yourself , I know as I have done the same stupid things myself , and it never goes well that way,, use your head, think, think, think, before you speak, throw the beers out the window , and think, if you re read what you posted youll see what we all read there, I wish you well and hope you guys make it work, quit reacting off emotions, yeah easier said than done, ...lainOS gave you some sound and solid advice, some of the best advice Ive seen on here in 6 months, I suggest you re read and take heed Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Yea...it was all emotions(I was not drinking)...I later apologized to her...and we talked calmly. At the moment I still do not know if she wants to work it out. All she said when we where talking calmly is she is still mad. She is still dodging my questions. I am no longer asking her what she wants. At the moment...I feel like I can not ask her out anymore or anything. I feel like I need to let her do all the moves. It is not a game that I am playing it is just how I feel. After all she knows my feelings...what else is there to know? This was all IM still. Link to comment
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