Going NC - but dumper contacts you??

[RedWingsFan]

I am not sure how to go about this situation. Even the dumper said there may be a chance to get back together, after some time and space to think things through.

 

She ended the relationship exactly one week ago saying she needed time and space to think about whether or not she is still in love with me. She also said she had become "emotionally disconnected" from me in the last two months.

 

I've elected to do NC for at least two weeks since the break-up. I am respecting her decision.

 

In this past week, she has initiated contact twice via instant messenger. I kept each conversation to 10 min long, and we only discussed how things have been, what we've been up to, etc.

 

How do I go about this?

Is she trying to ease her guilt?

 

Is she contacting in hopes that we can slowly become friends?

Is she contacting in hopes that she can emotionally connect with me again?

Any other ideas?

[arcadefire]

It seems like your ex wants to keep thing friendly between you two. Do you feel hurt by the break up or more like it's time to move on? Depending on your situation. If you feel like the break up has caused some serious emotional damage to you, it would be best to stop replying to her messages so you can heal and move on faster. The only contact you should accept from your ex is that of getting back together, nothing less until you've moved on.

[RedWingsFan]

Rather then helping me with my situation, I was hoping people could give me ideas for the situation. Preferably from experience! I want to be nice, but don't want to look so needy. I want to be in NC, but I have to be nice!

 

Maybe I'm just having difficulties with NC. In that case, thanks for allowing me to vent. ](*,)

[needhimso]

You can't really be sure of her intentions. My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. He said it was a break and he would more than likely get back with me, but I fought it. He told me to leave him the eff alone (his words). I let it go somewhat and tried to go NC, but he kept contacting me, checking up on me, etc. First it was every week. Then it was every 2 days or so. We were flirting and complimenting each other, and he made sexual advances.. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I did. I thought he was going to come back.

 

Then I didn't hear from him for two weeks. I heard from him on Friday. I cracked and told him I love him. Then he dropped the bomb...he found someone. He's been with her for a few weeks already, and according to him it's "kinda serious" My brain exploded. Just read my thread titled "totally crushed" to view the train wreck. I still love him with all my heart and want him back. I hope it happens, but in the last two hours I've just felt ready to let it go. I'm broken and it's too exhausting. What happens happens I guess. I do feel he will be back because my gut is screaming it, but what I'm doing right now isn't working.

 

Rambling.... anyway I talked to him a few hours ago and was just honest with him. He told me to just be his friend, and he doesn't want to get my hopes up for more. I told him he's the love of my life and I eventually want to regain our friendship after I've healed, but I can't watch his new relationship (*cough*train wreck *cough*) unfold. Just be honest. You need time for yourself, and she should understand and respect that. Then again, I've probably gone about things in a completely wrong way.