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Help me to help a friend

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Hi all,

I'm new, so I hope this in the right place first off.


Ok, here we go. This is the quick version.

One of my best friends has had a pretty harsh break up with her boyfriend. He had been lying to her about several things, seemingly living a double life, then last week, he told my friend that it was over and that he'd found someone he wanted to be with.


My friend has been a wreck since then. I've been doing everything I possibly can but all my committments are getting in the way. And after about day 2, I was at a loss in regards to actually saying anything helpful. My friend has been trying to dig and find information on this other girl and I'm trying to stop her lest she finds something that hurts her even more.


What can I do? What can I say? Aside from telling her that I'm there for her(which now feels very shallow).


Thanks for taking time out to read this

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It's very unfortunate what your friend is going through but aside from being there for her as much as reasonable for you there is nothing else you can do. "Time" is what she needs to get over this situation and nothing else. She will get through it in time and will take this as a learning experience with her but I don't think there is anything more you can do to help her. Good luck!

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Not much. You can listen to her and that's about it. If you don't have anything to tell her, just let her know that.


I find it really helps me to have someone who will just listen, and not butt in, and will just be there for me.


Unfortunately the only person I know who does that is my ex

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  • 2 weeks later...

A while on and things seem even worse (from my perspective anyway). My friend has gotten over her ex - a positive thing, but she's slept with some random a few times "to feel better" saying that "Its all just a bit of fun, I don't love him."


And at the same time, she's trying to hook up with about 3 other guys because "It takes her mind off things." None of these guys actually have feelings for her, they're just 1 night stands. In my view, and the views of all who know the situation, she's becoming a complete * * * * , which is exactly what these randoms want and exactly what we're trying to prevent.


So that's...that I suppose. Once again, I'm limited to begging and pleading with her to just step back for a few weeks and then restart if that's what she still wants.


Any other ideas? Its not nice feeling unable to help a friend


Thanks to all above for their help.

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