moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 hi, well... we met in ballroom dancing classes and we partnered a few times. had a good time dancing. got her number and waited a few days. called her up to arrange a date and it went like this: me: how's wednesday for salsa her: oh i have baseball. me: alright tueday is jazz night. her: oh i have soccer. i can do thursday. me: awesome i know just the place. her: hmmm.. maybe not this thursday but the next. after some chit chating. she said she's entering subway train soon but lets touch base in a few days. I said fine you got my number. bye. well... i guess she's not really interested. oh well... her loss i guess. im wondering if i should call her again in a few days. but from the convo i had with her it doesnt seem positive at all. any input is greatly appreciated. thnx Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 She did suggest an alternative date so wait a few days and then ask what time to pick her up next Thursday. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 She could actually be busy. I would call one more time in about a week, cos she did say lets touch base in a few days, if i didnt want someone to call i would just be like "ok gotta go bye". If she still refuses to set a date then, leave it up to her/forget about it. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Also you made yourself sound too eager and available by doing the 'Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday ' routine,do things with other people too. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 Also you made yourself sound too eager and available by doing the 'Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday ' routine,do things with other people too. yeah i guess it would appear this way. but the truth is the date is only gonne be like 1 hr or 2 so i can actually squeeze it in every night except wednesday which is a little tight cuz i have a late swing class. what would u suggest i say when i call her again? thnx Link to comment
michelangelo Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Do you still have dancing classes with her? If you do, then I'd wait until you see her in class and see how she reacts towards you. I'd let her bring up the topic, that way you won't seem desperate. If she doesn't, then she's flake and that's her loss. If you don't have dancing classes with her, call her once and see if she brings up the topic. You have to have self-esteem, because that's attractive. So I wouldn't chase after her unless she shows some signs that she likes you (although this is too early to tell at this stage). If she's a flake - then you know she wasn't good enough for you. Good luck bro! Link to comment
wurth_skidder Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Also you made yourself sound too eager and available by doing the 'Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday ' routine,do things with other people too. Agreed. If a woman doesn't suggest another day, you generally don't do it for her. You might make one more suggestion, but after that, you leave it be. And that other suggestion shouldn't be the day before or after unless it's a weekend. She's probably not interested at that point if she still doesn't make another suggestion. I actually kinda wonder if she threw Thursday in there just because that was your next logical choice, and maybe she did that to test you and see if you had a life. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 Do you still have dancing classes with her? If you do, then I'd wait until you see her in class and see how she reacts towards you. I'd let her bring up the topic, that way you won't seem desperate. If she doesn't, then she's flake and that's her loss. If you don't have dancing classes with her, call her once and see if she brings up the topic. You have to have self-esteem, because that's attractive. So I wouldn't chase after her unless she shows some signs that she likes you (although this is too early to tell at this stage). If she's a flake - then you know she wasn't good enough for you. Good luck bro! thnx yeah we wont have the same class again. just came out of a 3 yr relationship so im a little fresh at this dating game lol. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 Agreed. If a woman doesn't suggest another day, you generally don't do it for her. You might make one more suggestion, but after that, you leave it be. She's probably not interested at that point if she still doesn't make another suggestion. I actually kinda wonder if she threw Thursday in there just because that was your next logical choice, and maybe she did that to test you and see if you had a life. man so this is what the dating game is like? test this and that. frankly most of it is based on speculation. i mean seriously, if i happen to have 2 hrs free on 4 of 5 weekdays for dates in the evening does that indicated i dont have a life?? sounds a little shallow IMO. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 thnx yeah i wont have the same class again. just came out of a 3 yr relationship so im a little fresh at this dating game lol. Well then maybe you're too eager to jump into something new...take some time for yourself. Link to comment
wurth_skidder Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 man so this is what the dating game is like? test this and that. frankly most of it is based on speculation. i mean seriously, if i happen to have 2 hrs free every weekday for dates does that indicated i dont have a life?? sounds a little shallow IMO. Assume everything a woman says to you in the first few dates is a test of some sort. Much of it is, even she doesn't realize she's doing it. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 man so this is what the dating game is like? test this and that. frankly most of it is based on speculation. i mean seriously, if i happen to have 2 hrs free on 4 of 5 weekdays for dates in the evening does that indicated i dont have a life?? sounds a little shallow IMO. Unfortunately that's the way it works....a girl usually likes someone who's not clingy...this word is very important...you can't appear to be fixated and desperate...they'll run like hell. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 Assume everything a woman says to you in the first few dates is a test of some sort. Much of it is, even she doesn't realize she's doing it. got ya. yeah i just need to be sharper next time i guess. Link to comment
michelangelo Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 "...to see if you had a life"??? Now that's cheap. What kind of girl would do something like that. Certainly you wouldn't want to come off as needy and willing to give any day of the week just to see her. People have different lives, different obligations and responsibilities, so you have to be mature when it comes to dating. Call her, if she doesn't give you any signs that means there's someone better for you out there. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 Well then maybe you're too eager to jump into something new...take some time for yourself. i have. i dont think im THAT eager to jump into a relationship. im just open for another, and hopefully i can find the right one that's all. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Unfortunately that's the way it works....a girl usually likes someone who's not clingy...this word is very important...you can't appear to be fixated and desperate...they'll run like hell. I disagree, its important the guy seems intrested especially in the beginning. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 thnx for the input guys. any recommendations on wut i should say when i call her or IF she calls me? even though i think chances are slim for her to call. dont mean to be pessimistic but im just trying to face reality and not get too excited over something im not even sure of yet. thnx again Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I disagree, its important the guy seems intrested especially in the beginning. Interest is shown by asking the girl out in the beginning.Desperation is shown by repeatedly asking the girl out with no results. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Just be like hey how was ur weekend la de da random chat then, are u still up for meeting up nxt thursday? n see what she says Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Interest is shown by asking the girl out in the beginning.Desperation is shown by repeatedly asking the girl out with no results. to be fair hes only asked her on one occasion n she said she wants to go out. Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 to be fair hes only asked her on one occasion n she said she wants to go out. Right, he shows interest by asking her out and she shows interest by accepting or suggesting another day and sticking to it firmly. Link to comment
CharlesF Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I think since she suggested another day, you should call her in a few days as she suggested. It's hard to tell if she is interested or not. Sometimes women find an excuse for every night because they don't want to go out with you. However, it is possible she was just busy those days. I would suggest calling her again and asking one more time. If she is busy that night, then forget it. Either way, you will probably know for sure when you call her again. Link to comment
tpid223 Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Definitely call one more time a few days from now. I got blown off by a girl whos number I got when she said she wanted to go out, said she had work that night and I told her not to worry about it. Basically, I thought she had no interest and was trying to let me down gently. Four days later I asked her since our plan didin't work if she wanted to go out the week after, figured why not ask, whats the worst that could happen?v and to my surprise I got a yes, I told her what day I was free and she said after she got outa work she wanted to get together. Now, if im ganna get blown off again im not sure, but the point is even if you think you may have blown it, you might not have. Its not over until she tells you no or just doesn't respond to anything from you. Give it a shot, and good luck. Link to comment
boo121 Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 I'd leave it, and not contact her back. Anyway if she says ill do thursday... well actually not this thursday but the next, just say "look why are you playing games? either you want to get together, or not, if you dont then this probablly isnt going to work out" maybe talk latr. Link to comment
Portage Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Don't call back, her indecision is answer enough. Link to comment
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