Relationship in NEED, maybe sour, Holiday Stress?

[Blah213]

Help! I'm so confused what to do right now. I don't know if I'm just stressed out because everything is stressful because of the holidays and school and everything.. but I think my relationship might be going sour and I would like to try and fix it.

 

Well I've been dating this girl for about 6 months now and we're very much in love with each other. We broke up over the summer, but then quickly got back together and became infatuated with each other. Now it seems like we're in a slight rut.

 

We have been fighting a lot lately, and I think most of it is because of our sexual relationship is lacking badly. I have been fingering her for several months now, and I STILL haven't received any sort of pleasurable thing back from her. Not even something small, such as a back rub. She feels guilty about this, and I feel slightly impatient lately. She doesn't want to do anything because she's scared to, or at least that's what she has told me. I told her I'm totally fine with it.

 

A month ago she brought up the topic of sex. She told me that she wanted to skip bases with me and just have sex. She told me that she wanted to do this all long, and I agreed with it. Currently we're planning to have sex on Friday (we've been planning it for sometime). However at the moment she is freaking out. She's already freaked out once, which is totally understandable because she's a a virgin and so am I. I am willing to even skip sex, but she thinks that I need it or something.

 

Anyway, we've been kind of irritated with each other and lately I have this horrible feeling I haven't felt before. I can't stand talking to her. On the phone our interested conversations have turned to static, not all of them, but most of them it seems. I can't stand being around her. She does all sorts of things to irritate me and lately I just can't stand being with her. When I'm with her, I'd much rather be somewhere else.. I am not really attracted to her as much as I was. Infact, I find her severely less attractive. Before I would enjoy pleasuring her, but now I don't want to even touch her it seems. I think that I might just be wanting my space from her, and that things are okay but I'm just at a point where I'm just too overwhelmed. At times, I feel like I want to braek up with her, but I don't think I could ever bring myself, or see myself, doing that. When we try and have a serious conversation about our issues, she avoids the subject and won't tell me what's wrong.. She pushes me away, and I'm tired of it!! What's going wrong, is this normal, and how do I fix it, or do I??? Please help!

[buffalosoldier]

Hello there.

 

I think the main problem here is the whole 'planning' it thing. I think this is only going to create more pressure on her (and you for that matter).If shes truly not ready to have sex then she will be counting down the days until friday,and it will feel like a test or something,she will no doubt be really nervous,and you might too. I think it would be much more pleasurable for the both of you if you just went with the flow.-People always have certain expectations of what their first time will be like,but in reality it never quite turns out like what you thought it would.

 

You sound like you are getting increasingly bored with this girl.That could be down to your sexual frustration,boredom at waiting for her,or just general boredom with the relationship,but only you know the answer to that one.i think you need to analyse this situation and find out what YOUR needs are.its all very well you waiting for her,and trying to please HER in every way(not a bad thing) but YOU have needs aswell.And if you dont feel like your needs are being met equally,then amybe the two of you arent quite as compatible as you thought.Obviously i can only speculate.

 

Do you spend alot of time together? maybe too much? this can lead to problems if you are.and is sex the main topic of your conversation? if the answers to these are ''yes'' then i think you are both simply feeling a little stressed and under pressure. Take some time out to have fun together and do the things you love.-Sex can wait,theres plenty of time for it,and it certainly isnt the only good thing about being in a relationship.

 

Try to focus on something different for now,and you'll both come back refreshed and possibly ready!!

 

Have fun and good luck