messenger05 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 my ex called me the other day (she broke up with me - and actually has called 2-3 times in the past 2 weeks) and we have a tenative dinner meetup setup. I did not talk to her for a while after we broke up - its now been 3 months. I felt pretty good talking to her - so I agreed on the dinner. Now that its set, I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm not over her yet. Anyone have any unbiased opinion here? Should I go or wait? I know it'll hurt her if I don't go, but I also know she has no intentions of getting back together. Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Who cares if it hurts her if you dont go. What are you looking for out of this. If you know she doesnt want to get back together, and you still have feelings for her, Id not go. Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Hey messenger I'd agree with Brian here - what is it that you are hoping this dinner meetup will achieve. As you say, you know she doesn't want to get back together again. So far as I can see, all this will do is screw your head up and hurt you. Again - I am with Brian - you have to stop worrying that you not going will hurt her - you have to do what is in YOUR best interests now fella. Take care mate. Mark Link to comment
messenger05 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Thanks fellas - just a couple of things to add For the past however long, I've been doing what has been best for me. I think though that one of those things is being friends with her. I haven't been ready for that up until now - or so I thought - so I am gonna try (tenatively) to see if I can do that. I know all the reasons why I shouldn't be seeing her - but I guess I need to do this for me - does that make sense? Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Imagine you met and she told you how great her new bf is (if she had one) Could you handle it? If not, you are not ready to be friends with her and I'd give it more time. Maybe its me, but I don't understand this whole "needing to be friends" thing that most people seem to have. My ex's dumped me/I dumped them and didn't want them in my life anymore. I've moved on. Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Hi messenger Brian raises another very good point right there. I think it is certainly possible to be friends with an ex but in my experience you have to be COMPLETELY over them before a normal healthy friendship can take place. I am friends with a couple of exes - but from a long long way back. You say that you know all the reasons why you shouldn't be seeing her - but that you are doing it for you. But I still cannot see what you are going to gain from this other than just set you back. Nobody can tell you that you shouldn't see her - we are just concerned of the outcome - that is all - I hate to see someone set back and starting the whole bloody mess again. Take care mate. Mark Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I have found that a lot of dumpers want to ease their conscience by trying to be friends with the dumpee. What will you talk about at this dinner? What if it goes badly what will you do? I think the guys earlier have good points you need to consider. Decide what you want to get out of this meeting and then see where it goes. Maybe you were just meant to be friends after all. good luck lost Link to comment
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