Mutual Friends

[misstb]

My ex and i share mutual friends, one in particuliar that brought us together. I would never ask this friend to choose between us but I keep hearing about how my friend and my ex have been hanging out etc and i am so bothered by it because he doesn't tell me about it others do. I feel like he is being deceitful by not telling me and I am secretly angry at him for stiill being friends with my ex after he hurt me so. anyone with this problem?

 

i find myself avoiding phone calls and situations where I would see my friend because I am resentful even though it's not his fault really I also feel like he sort of sabotaged our relationship, am i just paranoid?

[charliebrown]

mutual friends are a touchy subject. its hard for your mutual friend to be really faithful to both of you, so that person is in a tough place too. one of my close friends was in a similar situation. she was very close to someone who was also close to her ex. after they broke up, the guys sort of sided together and she was mad that her old friend was hanging out with her ex and his new gf! she confronted him about it... but it didn't really do very much good.

 

at a certain point, you just need to let bygones be bygones. if you can't stand your ex, or your friend for siding with your ex... don't feel bad about excluding yourself from the situation and try to get some space. wait until the dusts settles a little bit.

[misstb]

Great, not only do I get dumped but lose a good friend also...I can't handle that they are friends and we are to, my fault I guess. I told friend this and he says he understands. He says to stay away from ex, I am better than he, it makes me wonder... what does he say to my ex?

[DN]

Probably something supportive.

 

It's what friends do.

 

Don't make him choose - it's not fair.

[LW4E]

For me, mutual friends isn't a big problem... I never asked them to, but they've all sided with me, every single one. It's not because of the break up though... it's because my ex neglects her friends to talk to people on the internet my friends know that i'm always up to go out and have fun, just like them.

[arcadefire]

If your mutual friend is constantly hanging around your ex, you can't do anything about it. I had a mutual friend who did that too and it killed me to see my friend post pictures of my ex with new girls. I confronted my friend about it and he said he didn't know he was hurting me.

 

Anyway. Some people are just not intelligent in these areas. I want to forgive my friend but at the same time I kind of just want to let things slide off with him. I figured my real, caring friends wouldn't do such a thing.