Two Weeks - Almost No Contact!?!?

[simple_guy25]

Another long post, sorry. Skip to the last 2 paragraphs if you don't want the back story

 

So I've kinda gotten out of touch with the girl I've been seeing. In the beginning we talked everyday, and were going out every weekend, as much as our schedules allowed. The last coupe of weeks however, we've barely had any contact. She does have reasonable excuses for it all, almost a "perfect storm" scenario. I don't think she is leading me on, or has lost interest at all. She leaves me messages on MSN whenever she is online, though I'm not around at those hours due to work. We had each others cell phone numbers, but her sister borrowed hers and used up all her minutes, so that's out of the question. I know that is true, because a couple times I've called, I got the sister.

 

Anyway, Thursday she left a message saying she wished I was around to talk to her, and that we should get together Friday night. She just move to a new apartment (I don't have an address yet), and left no way for me to confirm plans. I sent her back a message accepting the offer, and gave her both my home and cell # so she could contact me, I also told her what time I would be online Friday if she wanted to get a hold of me that way. As far as I know, she hasn't been online since to get the message. The few messages I've sent asking for a # to contact her seemed to be ignored(Not even sure if she HAS a home phone). Needless to say Friday night didn't happen.

 

It will be 2 weeks Sunday since we last spoke. Last we talked we were both interested in seeing where this went, and she DID introduce me to her kids, and brought them to my place. It's not that I need to see her everyday or even talk everyday, but 2 weeks with nothing just doesn't sit well with me. That aside, we click really well, and time spent with her is just amazing.

 

I don't want to give up something good just because she has been busy. But I'm not sure what to do next. I thought about writing her an email/letter, explaining how I feel about the situation and what my expectations are, but I don't want to come off as too needy. Thoughts?

[lady00]

To clarify: you have no way of reaching her by phone?

Do you know if she actually received your confirmation of your plans to go on the date two weeks ago?

 

I can only see two reasons for this: (1) she changed her mind about you and dropped off the face of the earth (people do this surprisingly way more than you might think) or (2) She never got your messages and thinks that you dropped off the face of the earth

[simple_guy25]

Sorry, I guess I didn't explain myself clearly. We haven't spoken in two weeks since our last date. we have sent a few messages back and forth online in that time, she sent me one 2 days ago suggesting we go out last night. I answered back, but I don't know IF she has received the message. I have absolutely no way of contacting her by phone as she no longer has her cell phone. I just assumed since she asked online, and that is the only way we communicate at the moment, that she would check back to see if I accepted. Hope that clears it up for you a little

[lady00]

Sorry, I guess I didn't explain myself clearly. We haven't spoken in two weeks since our last date. we have sent a few messages back and forth online in that time, she sent me one 2 days ago suggesting we go out last night. I answered back, but I don't know IF she has received the message. I have absolutely no way of contacting her by phone as she no longer has her cell phone. I just assumed since she asked online, and that is the only way we communicate at the moment, that she would check back to see if I accepted. Hope that clears it up for you a little

 

Oh, I understand now. I don't think that's a really big deal. Sounds like a small miscommunication...very common on instant messengers I'd say. Sometimes those services just log you off or you lose the connection...the other day my laptop ran out of batteries and so it turned itself off and if anyone had messaged me during that time, I'd never have received it. Anyway, I'm just saying so many things could have gone wrong that prevented her from getting your message. Since this is the first time this has happened (right?) I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, she is the one who asked you out so she's clearly interested. Hopefully she will realize that you cannot contact her and she will contact you again soon.

 

I think you need to relax a bit. 2 days without communication and one miscommunication is nothing. Don't worry yet.

[simple_guy25]

Thanks lady, I should point out that she did stand me up on our last date as well, we agreed to do dinner at my place, and she would call me to confirm the time. she ended up being out of town an extra day, and could not remember my number. but she was really good about it, and rescheduled for the next day. I know there are a lot of good explanations for this, and if it wasnt for the whole lack of communication all together it wouldn't bother me. I just wonder why she doesnt make more of an effort to contact me, or give me a way to contact her. I'm probably just being a little insecure, but I've been led on before, and a small part of me worries this is happening again.

[lady00]

Thanks lady, I should point out that she did stand me up on our last date as well, we agreed to do dinner at my place, and she would call me to confirm the time. she ended up being out of town an extra day, and could not remember my number. but she was really good about it, and rescheduled for the next day. I know there are a lot of good explanations for this, and if it wasnt for the whole lack of communication all together it wouldn't bother me. I just wonder why she doesnt make more of an effort to contact me, or give me a way to contact her. I'm probably just being a little insecure, but I've been led on before, and a small part of me worries this is happening again.

 

You know, I have come to realize that the only way to avoid being led on is to control how much you invest and how much of your time to give someone. Let people prove that they are reliable over time. Date other people and if you don't hear from someone within a reasonable time period before a date, go ahead and make other plans. That way if someone loses interest in you, you would only have invested what was proportional to what they were giving you and when they do call with "Hey, it's Suzy, sorry I've been so flaky" you'll say "Suzy who?"

[rvision]

hey dude, your situation sounds very similar to mine. It really gets to you if you let!! and being someone that knowingly wears his heart on his sleave I know what ya going through.

 

The gurl im seeing did the same to me after a month of weekend meets to almost disappearin for 2 weeks. Finally saw her last monday and everything was fine and she acknowledged she still liked me, however a few days pass and im feeling like a yoyo again. The thing to realise is that were both our own persons and while we might be keen, the other half might be questioning what their doing and taking some space to work things out in their own head wihout the obvious attraction they have towards distracting them. My gurl is very much in demand and has a big social grou of friends always doing things. Im not really involved with them so she often does things with them over me (like this evening) but I know it can be tough but this line is paramount **play it cool** when they come to you dont question them just toe the line be your happyself they like and if its meant to be it will be .. Try not to obsess o much over them, rem you have your own life and all of a sudden you could be on your own again so dont reliy on it as your only source of happiness. "what counts is not the enormity of the task, but the size of the courage"

 

Anyway hope that makes some sort of sense. Now im off out to enjoy my night..