It's pretty much over....

[freeindeed]

...atleast I feel that way. The phone calls are less frequent, as are the texts. He says he loves me, but he's fickle in every aspect of his life. We've both said things that hurt and neither of us can forget. Is there any way of going back to the way things were, or is it over? I feel so *&^%ty right now. He used to love me so much, made me feel like the most important person on Earth. Now I'm just afraid to be alone, so I'll settle for him. Sucks.

[CaptainNapalm]

Based on your brief post it sounds like you guys need to take a break from each other and if it's meant to be it will be. Sometimes space apart can give life to a great new relationship in the future. I say this from experience. Good luck!

[tazthecat]

Don't settle for less than your worth..

[freeindeed]

When you guys say "break", do you mean like break up for a little while? Or just give each other space? We've had some rough moments and "broke up" only for me to realize how much I got used to us being together all the time. It's sad but I admit, I begged and pleaded and told him I couldn't live without him. Ever since I did that, things have changed (ie, the phone calls, texts, and the fact that he doesn't want to be around me as much). I'm bitter because I felt like he set it up to be that way. In the beginning I thought he was too clingy, but then I just got used to him always being around. Now he's pulling away and it's driving me nuts, but he knows I won't fight with him, and I'll beg for him back. I hate this feeling, it's awful.

 

Right now, I'm trying to give him space. He hinted that I should hang out with my girlfriends tonight, so I just told him I had a lot of stuff to do at home. I don't know what's going on, it could be as innocent as he just wants to be alone, but he's a liar too (been caught several times, but I always forgave).

 

I just feel so stuck. I hate feeling abandoned, but I hate feeling like I'm in an unhappy relationship.

[freeindeed]

I know! I was reading your post in another thread and I thought, wow I'm going through the same thing. I've been acting similar. Waiting for him to offer his hand instead of grabbing it. Or not texting "i love you" unless he texts it, and even though, I might not text it back (because I feel like it might be smothering). I keep my texts short and simple. I wish I could dive into his brain and figure out exactly what he's feeling. I wish I knew exactly what to do to get the "old" him back the way it used to be.

 

Also, part of me really thinks he may have done something stupid about a month ago (when he started to change).... Think he may have hooked up with someone else... and maybe he realized that there's other "options" if things don't work out between us. So many thoughts, and I don't know what to do with them. I can't bring them up to him, he'll have a fit.

[freeindeed]

We've been together for about a year now

[chasey]

I think sometimes in relationships a couple can get almost too comfortable with always spending alot of time together, texting, talking on phone etc and end up almost losing themselves. Maybe that's something that's been bugging him and he's just pulling away a little to get in touch with himself again and do some things he wants to do.

 

I would take this time to do the same thing. Do things you really want to do and treat yourself. Keep in touch with him, spend some time with him but don't push too much. After awhile he may see he can have a great relationship with you and still have some time to himself when he needs it. Maybe it'll even bring you closer together.

[Romantic Fool]

I tend to agree with chasey on this....You get too comfortable in a relationship and tend to just act like well your job. You go to it without thinking and then leave same way. Then its like being fired when it goes bad or ends...You don't know what to do all the anxiety builds you panic....Step back and take a breath....Think about what you want. Express this to him.. communication in a relationship is probably the most important tool You have have be able to communicate without worry of the reprecussions from the other party. If they are open to the idea of making it work they shouldn't get defensive with you expressing your feelings. Hope this helps and I know your pain....Same exact thing happen to me, but due to me closing up and pulling back...Now she has left and wanted to find herself leaving me in NC with nothing but memories. I've bought a couple self help books on communication in relationships and understanding the rights and wrongs. It is helping me alot there is always something to learn about a relationship that just doesn't come natural.