This is what he wants so its all he is going to get...

[fw_chick_83]

Well some of you may have read about my interesting email situation: I dont know what to do about these emails... PLEASE HELP!!!

in which I wasn't sure what to do.

 

Just an update... I know that I am a person who does not deal well with not knowing how to feel. I am actually very good at putting feelings aside as long as I know what the expectation is. The biggest problem I have had with my ex is that I am not sure what he is wanting me to feel about him. His actions have been very wishy washy and that was making it hard for me to get through the day.

 

So this is the decision I have come to- I am taking him at his word 100%. I am not going to read into anything or try to understand why is he saying certain things or acting a certain way. He said what he needs now is a friend, so that is how I am going to see him. I have already been on a date and it was hard to be there but I think getting back out there helped. One of my best friends Mom's told me to remember that I am the diamond and he (the guy) is the setting... not sure how much stock I am willing to put into that but on some level I can appreciate it.

 

In the simplest of terms, I am letting the one I love go. If he comes back, then it was ment to be. If not, I have a great friend and the satisfaction of knowing that the one for me will surpass this ex (which seems impossible at the moment).

 

Oh yeah... I have gone down a jean size and I am getting a puppy!

[Clabs]

Hey fw chick

 

Congrats on dropping a jean size - well done you darling! Good news also about the puppy. What sort are you getting? You have to promise to post some pics! I kind of inherited a 2 year old labrador last August and she really took my mind off things - your puppy will be a great friend and help!

 

All I would say here is be careful about the friendship thing. At the end of the day, you want more and he currently doesn't. That makes you vulnerable. I don't know - it is not something for me - I am friends with some of my exes but only after years apart. I'd say that if you can deal with the possibility of him introducing a new girlfriend to you then that is cool, but if you can't you are possibly setting yourself for a potentially massive fall. Just make sure you look out for yourself - ok?

 

Mark

[HoTung]

you are so strong

 

i want to do the same thing but i keep having moment of weaknesses

 

i miss him so much - am tempted to call his phone just to hear it ring - how sad am i?

[Volkslad]

 

In the simplest of terms, I am letting the one I love go. If he comes back, then it was ment to be. If not, I have a great friend and the satisfaction of knowing that the one for me will surpass this ex (which seems impossible at the moment).

 

 

That is all you can really do. You can go no contact on them, or you can stay friends, you can get someone else, or they might...but if it meant to be, it is meant to be. You just have to be ok with the fact that you are hanging out with someone that doesn't want to be with you in a relationship.

 

If you can handle that (and most people cannot, at least not for awhile), then you can do no wrong.

[Mustang]

Part of me thinks that I could handle being friends with my ex now. What makes me feel sad I think is the fact that it seems my ex doesn't want to be a friend with me.

 

She says she does but her contact was always very false and brief. Like she was just being polite but didn't really want to give me too much information. Which just made things hurt even more. Not only was she no longer my girlfriend but it felt like I'd lost my best friend too.

 

That said, I can understand that she doesn't want to give me false hope and she is trying to be strong and stand by her decision. But it's just awkward. I get moments where I genuinely want to speak to her without any romantic intentions but I can't because I know that she will get the wrong idea and be stand off-ish with me.

 

I know people say that if their reaction bothers you then you shouldn't be friends and that's why I'm in NC but to be honest, I think I'd be like this if a best mate started being off and cold with me too.

 

I know her. She was the most genuine and loyal person that I could've ever wished to have been with. Circumstances changed and I didn't handle it very well. She's caught up in her new life now and I have learnt to live with that now. I don't think she is deliberately trying to hurt me. I know I am doing it to myself and I am trying to stop it. But I miss her and I can't see a day where I won't think about her. At all.

 

It's so hard to know what to do really. I really do want to get over her and be friends without there being awkward tension from her because she's worried that I'm trying to win her back. I have absolutely no idea how to go about this. Which sucks because I'm in NC with someone that I really don't want to be in NC with.

 

I've accepted that we're not together now but I miss her friendship too. It's like I've lost out twice. But as I've said, there's nothing I can really do to "convince" her. I have to show her. And that will never happen because she won't ever want to see me. Gah.

[fw_chick_83]

I've accepted that we're not together now but I miss her friendship too. It's like I've lost out twice. But as I've said, there's nothing I can really do to "convince" her. I have to show her. And that will never happen because she won't ever want to see me. Gah.

 

I know what you mean about losing a best friend. I dont know what is harder... them pretending to want to be friends, or my case- where they really do want to be friends. Its hard because I was determined to be on NC for atleast a couple of weeks and after only a few days I was getting emails. I know he wants a friendship so that is what he is going to get, I just hope he realizes that a friendship does not mean I will wait for him. I can't, I want something real and I disserve something real. The truth is, I can live without him, I just dont want to.