just need to type while im crying

[brandnew1]

im still here. still still still trying to move on from a break up that happened nearly 3 months ago. been NC except a few texts he sent me which i ignored and a card i just sent him last week (everyone said dont do it but i decided it was whats best. not expecting a response) for over a month.

 

i just feel so hopeless. i moved to a new city, and while i have friends here, i dont have someone to sleep in my bed or cuddle with or joke with all the time or any of the things i had with him. i find myself crying when i wake up and crying when i go to bed. i know this is irrational and one day i will find someone else but why didnt he want me? it's so crappy. i want him to come see my new place and to talk to him every day like we did for so long before... and now it's over. no contact. no nothing. his friends send me messages on facebook asking about my life and when i answer they never answer back. i think they are doing digging but i dont know. i blocked him a long time ago. i cant bring myself to unblock in case i see something about him with another girl...it's so lame. i miss him SO much. my ex boyfriend before him whom i dated for 6 years and still loved when i started this other relationship wants me back and i find the thought sickening. i ONLY want my most current ex that dumped me. agh.

 

when does this end. i know everyone asks that. but it's just so depressing. i justfeel so so sad. tears and tears. sigh.

 

sorry i just had to vent.

[uk_incoming]

Read as many posts as you can - giving your own views is very theraputic and removes those strong emotions temporarily.

 

You didn't tell us why you broke up?

[tazthecat]

Well you're doing the right things..NC, Blocked myspace/facebook,ignoring his texts..Now that is the easy part in my estimation..The hard part is learning to be single again.

I understand how you feel about your bed being empty, having no one to joke around with...Just have to keep yourself busy, and exhaust yourself before bed(exercise,reading,etc), this way it will slowly diminish the crying..

 

Also start up a scheduled lifestyle. One thats based on time..EX you wake up in the morning, go for a run, bike ride, walk in a park..If you work i nthe morning or go to school, that will dull the pain cause you're busy..

 

Make plans with friends when works over..Go to the gym..Hang with family. Watch movies..

 

Do what ever you have to do to keep your mind occupied..Its not easy, but its necessary...Don't feel bad about the consistent crying, its normal...Just try to make less time for it.

[KaylaJoy]

bless your heart, i can sit here and feel your pain tonight...

 

Read lots of posts...it helps to know others are going thru very similar circumstances and understand what you feel. We've all been there.

My one true love broke up with me nearly two years ago, and for the first 3 or 4 months I guess, I thought I would just die. I went to see a therapist, and the best advice she gave me the whole time I was seeing her was this:

Take it one day at a time. If you need to, take it one hour at a time.

I would literally watch the clock from 2pm to 3pm and think to myself, "I made it another hour..."

Eventually those hours turn into days, and one day you'll smile and laugh at something and not even realize you are doing it until later.

I'm still learning how to walk without my love...it may take a while, but just know that you are not alone in this big old world with what you are going thru. We all understand because we've been there.

Hang in there!

[brandnew1]

thanks for everyone's posts. i appreciate them. we broke up because he dumped me saying he wasnt ready for a serious relationship and couldnt make me happy. whatever that means.

[KaylaJoy]

he dumped me saying he wasnt ready for a serious relationship and couldnt make me happy. whatever that means.

again, been there done that, unfortunately...only I got the "it's not fair to you" speech. I was told point blank by someone that claimed to love me and care for me and respect me, that he was only using me, and he couldn't be the boyfriend I wanted him to be.

It's slaps the steam right out of your self-esteem. It makes you feel unworthy, it makes you feel less somehow. It makes you feel like you weren't good enough.

NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE TRUE HOWEVER! When you get thru this, you will believe that again. It just takes time.

[nic2463]

Get a hobby,get out with your friends.get a new FELLA,your not with your ex so wondering what hes doing does u no good.

 

Your doin the right thing n/c its so painful i know but theres no easy way...Take care of yourself first x

[nic2463]

..

 

IMHO, this is the only tried and true way to fully mend a broken heart. But it has to be a real connection, not just sex or whatever.

 

Agreed xxxxxxxxxxxx

[brandnew1]

totally agree with you guys but igo out and i dont see anyone even half as interesting as my ex. im not the kind of girl that meets guys easily. i tend to make guy friends and we become something. apparently im a good looking girl but very intimidating. i have no idea how to change that. so what usually happens is i make friends with a guy and they end up falling for me. which, of course, makes break ups 100% harder. like this one.

 

plus i just moved to a new, HUGE city. i have no idea how to meet someone. and i dont think im open to online dating just yet.

[brandnew1]

Maybe he feels you are too good for him, that you can do better. That you deserve better.

 

thats the way he made it seem and he's only had one girlfriend before me (he's 25). i just want him to realize that i like him for him. he doesnt have to be anyone else. sigh.

[nic2463]

totally agree with you guys but igo out and i dont see anyone even half as interesting as my ex. im not the kind of girl that meets guys easily. i tend to make guy friends and we become something. apparently im a good looking girl but very intimidating. i have no idea how to change that. so what usually happens is i make friends with a guy and they end up falling for me. which, of course, makes break ups 100% harder. like this one.

 

plus i just moved to a new, HUGE city. i have no idea how to meet someone. and i dont think im open to online dating just yet.

 

Cut the intimidating side of your pesonality then...look summers coming and im sure you will meet someone...I know its hard not to compare new guys to your ex...but you have to forget him some how...how long since you broke up?

[brandnew1]

thats the problem. i have no idea what makes me "intimidating" but ive been told it on multiple occasions. of course i would totally try to knock it off!!! it's been nearly 3 months since he dumped me...we only dated for 6 months but were friends for 4 years.

[Amok]

Try to focus on your activities and on good things you have in your life (friends, family, job, whatever). Ask for the support of people close to you. Time will do the rest.