uk_incoming Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Ok - so she dumped me a month ago. Her depression caused her to lose the spark between us. At least she didn't drag it out, as she would be living a lie. I still hold hope that she will come back. This weekend has started my REAL NC with her. She visited me on Friday to make sure we were on the same page re- the breakup and what the future holds. She constantly urged me not to hold on because it makes her feel bad knowing i'm upset - I guess that is more pressure that would just push someone away who doesn't wanna be with you. My problem now is - I TRY my HARDEST to forget about her, but I can't stop dreaming about her. EVERY NIGHT!!!! In the mornings I wake up and think "oooh I didn't dream about her last night" - then I'll suddenly remember the dream and think "ah - actually yes I did" The dreams are normally along the lines of me "rescuing her" or "her wanting to give it another shot, with me showing unwillingness at fist". They are truly haunting and stop me from moving on. I WANT to move on - any reconcilliation is a bonus because she never left me out of spite, cheating, malice or abuse. At least she had the nerve to break it off before things got nasty or hateful. HOW DO I STOP THE DREAMS!! They just remind me how much I love her and care about her and I can't be doing with them anymore!!! It makes me cry in the mornings and I don't wanna work, or worse - go out on the weekends! Link to comment
auburnslp Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 no way to stop them, and no way to stop feeling like crap when you wake from them. It's a normal and natural part of the healing process-where your mind is letting go. And it sucks out loud. Been there, done that with the mornings-the mornings were the worst. But-it does get better, and as you allow yourself the time to heal, the dreams will fade, and then go away for good. Do your best to get through this difficult time. You have my best... Link to comment
uk_incoming Posted May 5, 2008 Author Share Posted May 5, 2008 The dreams are so good at the time though - Part of me wished I would slip into a coma where the dream lasts forever. I wander if she ever dreams of me? (no I SHOULDN'T be wandering!) Link to comment
auburnslp Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 yeah they were for me too-it was like living back in a time that has gone...and then I would wake and it would take a moment for me to realize that it was just a dream, and then I would cry. Sucked. Link to comment
NoPainNoGain Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I dream about the damn ex too. Sorry man,nothing we can do about it. Link to comment
postscript Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I didn't sleep in our bed whilst he and I were broken up. We shared that bed for almost two years and the one night I slept there a week into our break up, I had such bad dreams I woke up crying. I had another one last night, the second time I've slept in my bed throughout my whole break up/getting back together - and it wasn't pleasant. I shouldn't be frustrated and sad anymore. Link to comment
wurth_skidder Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I dreamt of my ex almost everynight for three months last summer. It wasn't until I went on a date with someone else that I stopped. You're probably not ready to date now, but the dreams will stop affecting you as much even if you keep having them, and eventually you'll get back in the swing of things and feel like dating again. The pain of breakups never really goes away; there just comes a point when it stops dominating your life and other feelings become more prevalant. Link to comment
hers Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 i dreamt about my ex the other night. he was asking me about the new guy i am seeing, then told me he wanted me to be happy, then tried to beat the guy up when he walked into the room. i left the new guy on the floor bleeding and chased my ex, who disappeared. last one i've had of him though. it used to be nightly! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I had dreams in the beginning...where he would reject me. Now when I have them....I can't see his face. He is fading away. Sad. Link to comment
NoPainNoGain Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Dont get me wrong.I dont dream about her running in tall grass with blue skys.I have dreams of her and her new fool.I wake up pissed off.I gather my bearings and tell myself it was only a dream and she is trash Link to comment
ieatglue Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Esspecially recently and like nopainnogain says, it isn't about loveliness and flowers. A year in, and still have dreams of her ripping my heart out. Hopefully it fades. Link to comment
NoPainNoGain Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Esspecially recently and like nopainnogain says, it isn't about loveliness and flowers. A year in, and still have dreams of her ripping my heart out. Hopefully it fades. It will,we just gotta keep grindin for the best.... Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Have them all the time..........annoying thing is they are really good dreams. In a couple of them we were even getting back together. Somone out there is trying to drive me insane!!! Link to comment
kluv224 Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Once you get over it and put that part of your life in the past or maybe move on the dreams will stop. When my ex and I broke up I was already over it so I never dreamed about him. The only time I have is if I'm fighting or struggling with him about something b.c. he was abusive. Link to comment
uk_incoming Posted May 5, 2008 Author Share Posted May 5, 2008 I had 2 dreams of her before waking up this morning. They were really nice dreams where we would make up and start kissing & cuddling. When I wake up I just feel like dying. I really don't know how much more of this torment I can take. The dreams are so lovely, they are exactly how we used to be a month before we broke up. I love her so much, but it's too painful. Link to comment
LW4E Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I had a dream about my ex the other night... In the dream she took a curtain rod and banged it on the floor, when she did a rolled up picture came out, she unrolled it and it was a picture of her with a note sprawled accross it. She began crying as she handed it over to me. If I knew then what the note on the picture said, I sure as hell forgot now. I just woke up confused. Link to comment
Guni Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Same thing was happening to me mate...they go away. Link to comment
S agapo Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I had some dreams of the ex. A couple actaully 2 months ago i remember clearly, and both dreams were him pulling me towards him & me in his arms resting on his left side of his body. I remember how warm I felt in my heart, and how Happy it was. Both smiling and sharing fruit (tangerine) even in one dream. Ive had other small faded dreams since. They are dreams, nothing but. If it was a nice dream, make u feel rubbish when u wake up doesn't it? Cos u wake up knowing they ain't with us anymore. Just dreams, thats all. Link to comment
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