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Alternatives anyone?

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Hey there.


I have told you earlier about the current situation with me and my ex.

It can be read here: link removed .


So I have just had surgery and I feel so lonely now. I can't do anything really. I've watched tons of movies, mostly comedies, but they only cheer me up during the time it takes me to see them. I think about my ex a lot.. And I've tried to have no contact with her and I've tried to think that I don't want her. I've even tried thinking that she deserves to be happy and at that, doing whatever it takes. For a time I felt good and balanced but now I'm just thinking how wonderful things were when I could go visit her and how she came to visit me. I think about how wonderful things would be with her just lying by my side and watching these movies with me. I really did go into the relationship with the hopes of it turning into a future commitment. A big commitment that is and I guess I'm talking about marriage and a future together because I can't go into a relationship thinking it's only for the time being..


I guess I made this thread because I wanted your help on how to move on. I know that there are a lot of these topics currently dominating the toplist of the forum and basically all the answers seem give you the same advice. I guess what I am asking for are alternate solutions to these problems that so many people have. The "old" ones haven't exactly worked for me.

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Hi Akatoro !


The problem is you ! You are dwelling on the thoughts of a time that is past. In the way that you are prolonging the disappearance of this girl, you can move on. It is a simple choice for you. You need to talk yourself to forget this girl. This is not happening, and you must get on with your life, and choose to do so too.


It is that simple. Of course you keep yourself busy with things, but that is implied in getting on with your life. You simply get on with it. The only thing that you can do is get on with it. You will be over her eventually, but the question is, how long are you willing to continue like this until you are? Eventually, it will be you that gets over her, as it is you stopping yourself getting over her.


So, the answer is you. Tell yourself that this is over, and move on !


So do it NOW ! Prepare yourself to move on with this. If you have a bunch of stuff she gave you, well box it, and put it away. It's theraputic to do symbolic things like that. Also, don't let yourself think about her all the time, in fact, any of the time for a few weeks anyway. Learn not to let everything revolve around her, and learn that the world infact revolves around you ! It's all about you, and you have the power ti control the way you think.


I think you are ready - you are asking questions, and obviously want to be able to do this - so decide to move on, and do it !!!


Good luck


Hope this helps you some,

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Hey - glad the surgery went ok!


Not to make a deliberate pun, but right now, while you're recovering physically as well, keep in mind, you're under a bit of a handicap. Whenever we're physically not at our best, it affects us mentally as well, and enforced inactivity and boredom can make for depression as well.


Do you play videogames, or like logic puzzles, or anything else that gets mind-involving? Try hitting something that involves some mental exercise since you can't physically exercise, and maybe some action or suspense movies instead of comedies, since after all, adrenaline in physical exercise is part of what combats depression.

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