Temporary Long Distance

[raffi_FL]

What are some of your experiences with temporary long distance? How did things go with you and your s.o? What issues did you have?

 

Background: My bf got an internship out of state for around 10 weeks. Now I know it doesn't sound like a long time at all but I'm just confused about what to do. I've had two relationships go long distance (one he moved for work, the other I moved for an internship) and both failed miserably. As in the first bf got a new gf on myspace with out bothering to tell me miserably.

 

Now, I know what they say that if it doesn't work long distance it wouldn't work even if you were close together and I agree. But I am not looking forward to the whole thing.

 

We've been going out a year and 4 months or so and have had some trust issues in the past. We are fairly stable given our situations (different cultures, he lives at home still and I don't, etc), not engaged or anything though.

[MattW]

I've never even had a regular relationship, let alone a long distance one, so I'm probably not the best person to ask, heh... Just try to keep in touch on a regular basis (phone, Internet, whatever), and, depending on the distance (how far apart will you guys be?), try to make plans to visit him, or him visit you, every now and then. Other than that, you pretty much have to just trust that he won't mess around with some one else. I dunno. Sorry I couldn't be much help; again, not very experienced in this area, heh...

[rikka]

In the grand scheme 10 weeks is nothing. Time will fly by. Logistically, how far apart are you two going to be? Is there going to be a chance to see each other once or twice during the internship?

 

Make sure you set aside time to chat with each other while he is gone. Have phone dates, daily emails or texts or whatever works for you two to keep the connection going. I really don't see this as being an issue. Yeah it will take some adjustment, but it is such a temporary situation that it will go by before you even know it.

[raffi_FL]

Thanks for the input. He will be in Maryland, and I'm in Florida. I'm not sure if he will be able to visit, he is pretty broke and will probably save all his $ from the internship. I guess I will just see how it goes. It won't be easy but I whatever happens, happens.

[rikka]

Have faith! It is a set period of time- not forever. It will come to an end and you two will be back together. It is quite the distance so I don't think weekend trips are feasible - but just stay in contact. Have faith, communicate frequently - and enjoy some personal time! I know for me, I would barely notice the first two weeks or so. I would always enjoy my solo time at the beginning. Use these ten weeks to do something special for you! Reconnect with an old friend, start a new hobby, try a new "home spa" treatment once a week.... anything!

 

Have a count-down! My computer has the countdown widget - 43 days 6 hours and 12 minutes until I am on a plane to go visit home! When I started the countdown it was 89 days - and that feels like yesterday to me. Time really can fly if you are busy doing things.

[Iceman26]

I think that as long as the two of you love each other and make time to communicate with each other via phone you will be ok. The most helpful hint I could give you is to make plans to visit each other so you have something to look forward to. If you don't know when you are going to see each other next that can be kind of a downer.

[raffi_FL]

Yea I guess I can try to see him. I'm just worried about the whole "outta sight outta mind" thing. He has hidden things from me before so I'm not sure what will happen.

[postscript]

i have the same problem, only my partner of two years is soon going to be traveling around the country with his band, and i wont see him for max 4 weeks at a time (then with a week or so back here, then he's off again).

I don't know what to do. How to deal with the distance.

How does everyone else adapt?

[balletkitten]

I am going through the same thing! Only we haven't been together that long. He left for his internship a few days ago, and we've been talking every day - he doesn't have that much $$ either. He does want to visit tho - just needs a place to stay. He will be back to stay the first or second week in August. It's only been a few days and I miss him SO much!!! I feel your pain!! Just think about how wonderful it will be once you see him again. I think I will go and visit mine - he's in a different country from me, but it is only about half a days drive away.

 

Coping strategies - we exchanged shirts, so we can smell one another. LOL weird I know.

We also talk every day on the telephone, even if only for a few minutes.

It's really hard to do, but the time will go by in no time.

[Burb]

similar situation-

my girlfriend of three months or so just left for spain, but she'll only be gone for a month. i miss her a lot more than i thought i would. i suppose that speaks well of the relationship, but it still sucks.

 

just lettin you know i feel your pain.

[raffi_FL]

similar situation-

my girlfriend of three months or so just left for spain, but she'll only be gone for a month. i miss her a lot more than i thought i would. i suppose that speaks well of the relationship, but it still sucks.

 

just lettin you know i feel your pain.

 

Thanks, Burb. Things have been really hard and it has only been a few days. I wasn't sure whether or not to let him be single before he left so I just said we will see what happens. But that in itself is painful. I guess this long distance will show us both what we really want and if it is still eachother.