This is my Story

[Stormwind]

Hello everyone, I'm new to these forums and to tell you the truth I wasn't thinking about sharing or telling my story with anyone but after all this time, I just need someone to talk to and get advice from since I can't do that with the people in my life right now.

Before I start, I just wanted to give you all a bit of information about me.

I'm 16 years old, 3rd term of my sophomore year in highschool, european, and overall just plain different from 99% of the people who go to my school. I'm a video games/Star Wars/ Sci-Fi Geek, I don't smoke, get drunk or go to parties or anything that's considered "cool" in school.

Now that you know a bit about (boring) me I'd like to start my story. It's a long one mind you.

 

It all started 2 years ago back when I was 14, I was surfing the web looking for online games and I got into one, my interest was purely to have some fun, and that was when I met her...There was this in-game event where we had to get a date for something and I simply asked a girl out of thousands of other girls I could have asked, she has this high rank in the game so I thought be lucky if she refuses it nicely" and then something happened that I wasn't expecting...She said: "Yes, of course I'll go with you ^^". I was really surprised but since we were going, we started to talk to get to know eachother a bit, she was different from any girl I had ever talked to online, she was nice, interesting, kind and funny. When we said goodnight and I finally went to bed that night, I felt weird, but I was 14 and I hadn't talked to a lot of people online so I just figured what I was feeling was normal when you make a friend. We talked every night for the next days, and each day I had more fun, I found out she was American, Asian-American actually, she was 15 and she told me her name We were curious about each one's looks so I asked her and she asked me, she showed me a photo of her (I didn't show her any of mine, I actually didn't have any at the time) and I swear I stood really quiet in my chair looking at her photo, she was and still is to this very day the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, her dark and long hair, her hazel eyes, her face, I couldn't stop thinking about her that night. I remember I told Annie I didn't even wanted to show her how I looked, I said she'd probably get scared or something like that (I'm not ugly I guess, but compared to her...) and I still remember what she told me "Hahaha! You're probably a hottie!" I kind of blushed and then we said goodbye.

After a couple of weeks, the in-game event that had made us met took place, I knew in advanced I wasn't gonna make it so I told her to find someone else, basically every guy wished to go with her and she surprised me again by saying way, if I'm not going with you I'm not going with anyone." I smiled and thought she was probably saying that to make me feel better, but I later found out she did went alone.

After the event we kept talking by in-game messaging. This happened during September, she had to go to London in January I think so that's when we started talking seriously, around March we were messaging eachother when she told me know, messaging like this kinda sucks, we should really start talking by msn or something, we traded e-mails and we started talking by MSN, she was 16 now, and I was 15. After a couple of days, she felt it was about time I showed her what I looked like, I remember I was shaky and nervous think I'm ugly", "I bet she'll start distancing herself as soon as she "sees" me...". That didn't happen, on the contrary, I gave her a photo of me and she just went What were you afraid of?! You're so cute! Not just cute, you're handsome", I blushed, big time, and when I went to bed that night I admitted what I didn't want to admit until then, I was falling for Annie and the worst part was, I had no idea if she was falling for me...

I didn't even think about the distance back then, about the fact that I live in Europe and she lives in the U.S East Coast.

Summer came and we kept talking, everyday we talked and sent videos to each other, we laughed, and we were supposed to have spent a whole night talking, she didn't show up, so the next night I asked her what happened, she said her friends had set her up on this blind date with a guy, I just stared at those words and I felt what must have been my first heartache, I felt jelous, mad, sad and about to cry at the same time.

I simply asked was he?" and she replied pig, he was basically the typical guy who has all the girls after him and thinks he's really good looking. Listen I have this song I wanna show you, everytime I listen to it it makes me think of you". The song was Bubbly by Colbie Caillat and I think I shed some tears when I read that.

We told eachother many things during the summer, she told me about her ex-boyfriend, I told her I never had a girlfriend (she apparently finds that cute). I even sent her a poem which she described as "the cutest thing"

(and a big Awww lol).

We both also said we didn't e-date, and we both can now say that our opinion has changed, an year later, we're not in an official LDR, even though her best real life friend told her she should go forward with this, even her gay friend told me she was falling for me.

And then, an year later, some months ago, she's 17 and I'm 16, she told me the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm always doubting her feelings about me, or was, that kinda changed now, so I asked her know Annie, I'll never get what you saw in me, I mean, look at you, you're gorgeous, you're funny, interesting, really smart and I watch TV you know, I know how american guys look...Look at me, I'm average, not that athletic (she used to cheer), not that good looking, my point is, what did you saw in me?" and she said american guys are ugly, I don't care if you're not athletic, so what, we'll get a dog to get us a newspaper, you're handsome! You have no flaws in my eyes so shush, I

My face got all red.

I could go on and on about episodes like this, but I'll cut to the important parts and the ones where I need some advice.

 

I hate my country and I don't like Europe much, since I was a kid I've been wanting to move to the U.S for various reasons that I've only seriously considered now, employment, a multicultural nation and, well, it's America, what can I say lol. She's another reason, we've talked about this many times, and there's even the possibility my parents'll pay me an american college if I do well in school. I'm going to NY this summer and she's coming here when she graduates, so if I'm really really lucky, we'll meet this summer.

I realise I'm young, I'm 16 and I've never even dated a girl before, I'm not very social, I've got friends but they're not a huge part of my life. What I mean is, I know thousands of people start relations like this and fail but I never asked for this to happen, although if someone asked me if I'd rather not have met her, my answer'd be "Hell no". They say there's someone out there for everyone, what if I've found her? What I'm about to say would have sounded cheesy to me and it probably still does but I love her, I love her like I've never loved a girl, I've had crushes and they don't nearly compare to this, I think I'd actually get shot for her.

I'm considering the possibility of an LDR, and what she said yesterday made me think about it more seriously, she told a friend of hers about this romantic e-card I sent her, and her friend asked her you're like, dating him?" and a year ago she would have said "no" but she ended up saying complicated", I know she has feelings for me, she's told me she thinks about me day and night and is always waiting for me to get on.

 

This was my Story, and, if someday I have her kids, this is the story I'd tell them (It would give a good "How I met your mother-LDR Version" I guess). I really thank those who had the patience to read this, I know it's really long and that I'm a new member but I just don't have anyone to talk to about this, my friends would never understand, I'm not even dreaming about telling my parents until I meet her at least.

Do you think we've got a chance? (Oh I forgot to mention we have talked on the phone, Skype actually, which kinda works like a free phone and it was not only her that I fell in love with, but her voice also"

 

If you've any questions that you need to ask in order to help, please do ask.

 

Thank you all.

[knightNshiningarmor]

the only thing is i want to warn you that you have already put her on a pedal stoo land the problem with this is that if you continue to build it up shell soon be out of your reach...what do i mean by this?....telling a girl things like...what did i do to deserve you and feeding into your own insecurities will kill the romance and it basically is saying..."your better then me" and love is about balance and if you cant represent this balance your going to have trouble making this a long lasting relationship...

 

i made a post about this

 

its not catered to your situation since she already has genuine attraction for you but if you keep knocking yourself down she will start to believe you and shell look for better so what you need to do is invest in some inner confidence and if you cant you better learn how to fake it....i was once told about the string theory and im a strong believer in it....if your the string and shes the kitty cat...if you just put the string their in front of her..like what your doing eventually the cat will get bored....if you pull it so high she doesnt have a chance shell become uninterested so the trick is to learn how to bounce it just out of reach...keep her guessing...my recommendations for you is to cool down a little...let her put some effort.....do you send the first message to her everyday?...if so let her send the first message for a few days even if that means going a day or two...trust me shell be like hey where you been and just let her know you been busy...or that ...hey you can message me too..lol...and laugh it off...but ive been in your shoes and if you dont let her realize that as much as she is the prize you are too then you risk of boring her with a string thats just lying there.

[Stormwind]

Thanks a lot for the advice.

 

I've kinda stopped throwing myself down, I finally got it through my head that she actually likes me, but I just can't act like I'm the hottest guy on the planet or super-cool, first because I'm not and second, because I've always been true to her, I've never pretended being someone I'm not and she's done the same.

I'm the one who's been messaging her for the last few days, her spring break just ended so she's been busy but I'll let her be the one messaging me as you suggested.

And, something which I forgot to tell, we didn't talk for a month, mainly due to my stupidity, she wasn't coming on MSN (I later found out she couldn't) so I sent her a couple of e-mails but I forgot that for some stupid reason I can't read her reply e-mails so I thought she had lost interest, a month later she asked my (new) e-mail adress to a friend of mine and got REALLY mad at me for having not talked to her for so long, and for "ignoring" her e-mails, I promised her I'd never stop talking to her again, and, well, we keep on going ^^

Even if we're not in an official relationship yet.

[knightNshiningarmor]

that month of nc prolly helped the attraction made her realize how much she likes you...and btw...when you think of what american guys look like esp from tv and what not that is a representation of 5% or less...remember america is full of fat people like 60% of americans are obese...so if your thinner you got a one up on at least half the guys she sees

[Stormwind]

It's just that it's really hard you know, when you take a look around and see everyone with their girlfriend/boyfriend and you realise, that, at least right now, you can't be with her and as if that wasn't enought you can't tell anyone about it because they'd probably say either it's impossible or just laugh. Is anyone in an identical situation? I'd appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in this. I'm not saying it isn't worth is, it is, I'll endure anything or anyone if that means a chance to be with her. I'm really really anxious about meeting her this Summer although honestly, I think I'll freeze if I see her. And that's the problem, the "if", I'm 16 so I'm going with my parents and although I haven't lied to them about the trip, (I've always wanted to go to New York) I haven't told them about her and the possibility of meeting her once I'm there, there'll be opportunities though, I'll find a way to meet her in the hotel or something but that's planning ahead lol, she told me she could probably come (she's an hour away from NY) so. Just the idea of being one hour away from her and maybe even seeing her makes me think this is too good to be truth, if I do meet her that is...

[knightNshiningarmor]

ya haha no thats pretty cool...ask your parents ahead of time if it would be ok for you to have a day to spend with each other and maybe let them go see some sights you might not be that into...but ya hope all goes well and NYC is a lot of fun...plus it seems she might have a better understanding maybe be your tour guide for a day lol...but ya talk to your parents about it..not too soon but maybe a week or two before the trip but approach it like its not that big of a deal when in reality it probably is....and please please if you do meet up with her....remember this fact and think about it often...shes just as nervous to meet you as you are her....everytime you get anxious or caught up in stuff remember that...and dont be surprised if you dont talk as much as you do online...just way it goes...and dont be afraid to be affectionate...hold your hand out for her to grab ahold and if you go on a boat tour dont be afraid to put your arm around her....and if it feels right dont be afraid to go for the kiss...just do what you can to conquer your fears odds are you wont be moving to fast and shell probably be hoping for a kiss before you leave but if it doesnt happen dont stress to much.

[Stormwind]

That sounds easy lol

 

But its way harder to do than it is to say...Thanks though

 

 

And about that Good Guy Sindrome thing, I can't help it lol

 

I'd appreciate more opinions on this please.

[knightNshiningarmor]

That sounds easy lol

 

But its way harder to do than it is to say...Thanks though

 

 

And about that Good Guy Sindrome thing, I can't help it lol

 

I'd appreciate more opinions on this please.

 

ya your right it is.....as far as more opinions..you asking me or looking for some other perspectives?

 

i know its hard to help but if you supplicate..i.e. do everything for a women shell get bored and it kills romance and chemistry...it took me losing two long term relationships to realize what i was doing by being the super nice guy who did everything for them was in reality making them out to be better then me and who wants to be with someone who isnt their equal...the funny part is equality is all in the head and how you play your role...not all the things we think is necessary for it.

[Stormwind]

I just wish I was 18 and I could move or go by myself...

[knightNshiningarmor]

lol ya..that really sucks

[Stormwind]

Does age matter in this kind of thing? I mean, of course I would never recommend a 10 year old to get into this sort of thing for thousands of reasons, but I'm 16 and she's 17 I think I've got a level of maturity that allows me be rational and understand what I'm feeling. But everyone I see around here are adults, I mean, I'm not saying its easy because it never is but it IS a lot easier when you're a adult, you've got freedom to do things not to mention a lot more money (In most cases) and I know that I can't consider the possibility of moving to another country at this age, I sure would if I could, but right now I can't. My question is, are LDR's to be taken seriously only when adults are envolved or it doesn't really matter, I'd go for the second, love's love, doesn't matter if you're 16 or if you're 50.

 

Thanks.

[Stormwind]

I'm really sorry for the double post but something happened and I'm needing some serious advice.

 

 

Last night, she was annoyed and sad which is not very like her, she's always cheerfull and happy but that's not the problem, I mean, everyone has bad day, the thing is, I've never seen her this annoyed with something, even when she was mad, she'd let me help her, we talked about it and tonight, none of that happened.

She started going hate life", and whenever I asked her why was she mad like that she just replied Life!", she also said something about school, friends, parents. I asked her if she was mad at me and she said no, that she was annoyed at life, and then she went name) go to bed (it's like 3 am here) I'm going out. I asked her where she was going and she told me I feel like getting drunk right now", and then for the first time I think I got mad at her, she's completely against anything that envolves alchool, drugs, ect. I started cussing as well, which I never do, trying to get some sense in her head, I could see she wasn't mad at me (although I'm mad at her) but after arguing for a while she said"I don't care, go away and don't worry about me I'm going with some friends, I'm not going alone". That made me a bit less worried but still, she hurt me, I just don't know what to do, I love her, that's never gonna change but after all we've been through she acted like she doesn't care about me or worse, as if she had no feelings for me which I think she has (read the main post) and as if I wasn't her friend. What should I do? Please, I really need some advice.

 

Thank you