Getting over "oneitis"

[ryan250]

Just some backround info..

 

This girl and I dated for about 4-5 months, she broke up with me in November and said she just wanted to be friends. Sure, okay, fine. Nothing I could do about that. I went NC for 2 months... but we reconnected later down the line.

 

Fast forward to recent times. We are still friends and only friends, but our relationship is weird. The 3 times we've hung out since then, it's always very flirtatious and we end up fooling around. This has happened 2-3 times. It's a long distance friendship-relationship, so we will occasionally talk/text each other when we don't hang out.

 

I can't seem to get her off my mind even though I know we will never amount to anything more than being friends. It's pointless. And I have no self control when we are together, it's hard not to be romantic with someone you still care for.

 

So any ideas on getting over one specific person? Of course, the obvious answer would be "cut her off". But I value her friendship and when we do see each other, we have loads of fun. I told her I still had feelings for her the other day, her response in short was this.. "I kinda do too, but a LDR won't work out, we never see eachother". Ugh

 

Any tips? Thanks

[Beanie1]

Firstly, if you get along so well and things get flirty, are you so sure that you wouldn't be able to make a relationship work down the track if you were living in the same place? A lot of solid relationships are formed on good friendships.

 

But if you are sure that it will never be more than friends then you may be better off spending your time and energy looking for someone that you can have a relationship with. Maybe make note of all the great qualities that this girl has and use that to determine the qualities that you will look for in your future partner. You need to be sure though that you aren't so caught up on this girl that you lose the motivation to find someone else.

[ryan250]

Firstly, if you get along so well and things get flirty, are you so sure that you wouldn't be able to make a relationship work down the track if you were living in the same place? A lot of solid relationships are formed on good friendships.

 

But if you are sure that it will never be more than friends then you may be better off spending your time and energy looking for someone that you can have a relationship with. Maybe make note of all the great qualities that this girl has and use that to determine the qualities that you will look for in your future partner. You need to be sure though that you aren't so caught up on this girl that you lose the motivation to find someone else.

 

 

I think it could work and would love to be in a relationship with her again, but she doesn't think it will work. I definitely haven't given up my motivation to find others, but sometimes I swear it's impossible.

[Superfreak]

The trick to getting over "one-itis" is dating or sleeping with other women, then you'll realize that this one flower is not so special.

[Beanie1]

hehe well put Superfreak!

 

Maybe you think it's impossible because you are comparing all other girls to impossible standards...

[ghost69]

meet other women. when you only have one sitting there you develop tunnel vision for her. this is what is going on.

[jraf]

I think it could work and would love to be in a relationship with her again, but she doesn't think it will work. I definitely haven't given up my motivation to find others, but sometimes I swear it's impossible.

 

It will be impossible to forget her as long as you continue with the flirtatious hanging out and online/telephone chats.

You desire to reconnect, but she told you she doesn't think it will work.

It's hard to go forward when you're turned around looking where you've been.