Small question - how much to call?

[Carmine]

I met a girl a few nights ago at a party. We really seemed to have good chemistry together as the night went on. Then when she was ready to go home, I walked her to the bus stop; we shared a small kiss after exchanging numbers before she left on the bus.

 

I called her for the first time today...we had small talk for a bit but she was in the middle of preparing for an event so I let her go after a few minutes. I'm just wondering since I'm fairly new to this, should I expect her to call me at all in the beginning or should I be the one making all the calls? And how often should I call without seeming desperate? I kinda wanted to call her tonight and ask if she has any plans tonight or tomorrow, but I don't want to come on too heavy.

[kuiks8]

Its always tricky at the beginning. I would say give her a call on Monday...see if she wanted to hang out later on in the week...

[Whiplash Girl Child]

Hmm, I'd wait maybe 3 days after you had that small talk. Then call her again and ask her if she'd like you to take her out somewhere

[kevinm]

Does this remind anyone of the discussion in the movie Swingers? LOL

 

-Kevin

[Carmine]

Haha, yeah, I always hear a million different opinions on how long to wait before you call a girl. I legitimately waited a few days after I met her (I've been really busy this week), and I felt comfortable calling her, so I think I'm doing fine. I'll give her a bit of time to do her own thing and then call her during the week.

[AuthenticAuthor]

Why don't you ask her yourself? That's the only way you'll get a clear and direct answer to your questions. You'll find that the answers we give will depend on the woman you're meeting anyway. Seriously, you're making this too complicated. Treat her like you would want others to treat yourself. That applies to calling and everything in between.

[Carmine]

Why don't you ask her yourself? That's the only way you'll get a clear and direct answer to your questions. You'll find that the answers we give will depend on the woman you're meeting anyway. Seriously, you're making this too complicated. Treat her like you would want others to treat yourself. That applies to calling and everything in between.

 

I probably am making more out of this than it should be, but as I said, I'm young and new at this and it's going to be complicated the first time. I've only seen her once, and it would feel awkward to directly ask "how often do you want to talk to me?"

[gardenflower]

Don't call too often, and leave messages even less. After you leave a message, do not call back again until after she calls you. If she likes you she'll make the effort, and if you try too hard she'll think you're desperate and be turned-off.

[ghost69]

if i'm feelin the girl i call the next day.

[AuthenticAuthor]

I probably am making more out of this than it should be, but as I said, I'm young and new at this and it's going to be complicated the first time. I've only seen her once, and it would feel awkward to directly ask "how often do you want to talk to me?"

 

Sometimes I come off as too harsh, and so I apologize. I've been there too. If I were you, I'd just ask her, "Say, do you want me to call you sometime this week? I want to chat again, but I don't know if you're going to be busy or not." Questions like that show that you are sensible as well as interested.

[Carmine]

So I gave her a call on Monday and left her a very brief message just asking her to give me a call sometime. Hasn't called me back yet, but I'll give it time before I give up. She might be playing the same waiting game after all...