Is it possible to come back from the friendzone?

[whateverrrrr]

I was in a relationship for 5 years. The last four months I had been relegated to the FZ. She has moved on looking for greener pastures. As we all know usually they are not. Our sex life was always great. I am wondering if she does find out she had a good thing do you think thier is a path back from the Friendzone? I opted to not go to the FZ and went NC.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think you should go out looking for greener pastures. Do you really wanna be on the back burner till she figures that out? That is...IF she comes back

[Whiplash Girl Child]

Personally . . . I think that if someone broke up with someone they had been with for 5 years, then they must've thought pretty damn hard about whether to leave or not, and they must've been pretty damn sure about their ultimate decision to leave. Five years isn't a joke.

 

Is it possible for her to find that the grass isn't greener on the other side? Of course. Is it possible for her to have an epiphany and feel as if she had a good thing with you? Of course.

 

But on the other side . . . sometimes the grass is greener. That's how it worked out for me when I broke up with my ex of 6 years. And, while I realize that things with my ex weren't that bad, I mean, they could've been much worse, I still feel as if the relationship was NOT good enough nor was it making me happy enough.

 

If I had broken up with my ex and been single for the entire year after, I still would have been happy because I wasn't necessarily looking for someone to fill in the gaps. I WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM MY EX. In my eyes, I still would've been happy if I wound up alone. Better off alone than with him.

[knightNshiningarmor]

nc is how it starts...and a good idea...imo go nc go find some ohter women and if you still feel attacked to this woman after finding out there are other good ones out there then open up line of contact but have her do most of the effort as far as the calling or setting up meetings ect... need to set the tone right away that your the prize and it will be up to her to keep you...not the other way around...

 

i talk from experience...had on again off again relationship with current gf i did all the wrong things like supplicating and full compliance...after our like 4th break up i went nc for not sure 6weeks or so maybe it was 9 anyway..went out found some other women enjoyed myself but realized i still cared for her and i want ready to jump into anything cause i was enjoying my sorta single life...i think this really made her wake up...that she was back in my life for 2-3 weeks and i was dieing to get back with her even though she had dropped hints and even telling me she loved me in that time...it wasnt till we really spent some time together during spring break that i decided to turn in my single card and give it another go but this time around its been a much better balance. And its unlike its ever been before...i feel as if shes doing all the stuff i used to...like taking a train 5 hours both ways twice a month to come see me for instance....

 

so my advice is...stick to nc for a little while...get out have fun...youll know time is right to open the lines of comm back up when you have come to the realization that she isnt "the one" but rather "one of a million" who could make you happy... its only in this understanding that i think you can enter a new relationship in a healthy manner with her...then dont jump right back into a relationship...odds are within first week you both may be telling each other about how you miss each other maybe loves yous and all that but dont do it yet...make her wait atleast 2-3 weeks...let her know your seeing other women and as much as you care for her you still need some time and that you hope you can be friends for right now....then in a few weeks something along the lines of...being with all these women has only made me realize how much i really care for you what do you feel about me?...i think its also necessary to tell her that you do have a broken heart over what happened and it will need some time to heal...basically saying to her...girl you hurt me so for a while your going to have to be proving yourself.

[tray25]

if you ignore her, if she finds out you are with another woman than yes she will come back. This is easy to do if you have been intimate with a woman, almost impossible if you never have been intimate. Since you have already had sex then don't sweat it. Just do this; Act like you have other women. Act like you love yourself even if you don't. Act like she is gone and you don't want her back. She will come back, but only take her back if you think she will never do this again.