JITMoney Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 So here is the deal. Me and the ex have been broken up for a month. Probably have said about 5 full sentences to eachother. I tried to talk to her a while back and she wouldnt answer. I said ok i guess you are still in the "I hate you phase".. she quickly replied and said " I DONT HATE YOU, i just dont want contact with you".... Her birthday is next week, and all through our 8 month relationship i always showered her with gifts. Flowers, stuffed animals, litttle trinkets. It only feels right to sned her a HUGE boquet of flowers for her B day. I know i would get no response becausei have sent stuffed animals and single roses since we broke up. I got no reply from her. The only reason we broke up is because we have different outlooks and views on several things in life. She is afraid of getting hurt in the long run because of our differences. I love her with my whole heart and i am willing to work and do anything for her. I havent gotten any response from her since we broke up, but i understand people need space and time to think... SHOULD I BREAK the NC and wish her a happy birthday with maybe a letter...OR should i just give up? Link to comment
lady00 Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Don't send anything. She asked for no contact so respect her wishes and don't contact her--for any reason. Link to comment
bronte Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I hate to say this because I know how hard it will be for you to hear, but if she's said she doesn't want contact with you, you need to honor that and not do anything for her birthday. You've already been sending flowers and stuffed animals without getting a response--the message you're sending her right now is "I don't care what you want, you say you don't want contact with me but I'm going to keep pushing," and that will only drive her farther away from you. If you really feel you have to do something, at least limit yourself to a VERY short e-mail, "Happy birthday" and nothing else. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 don't break it. That'll just make it harder on her. She wants NC so that she can heal. Don't torture the girl. Link to comment
enchiladaman Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Let her be and give her the peace and separation she needs...totally. Link to comment
JITMoney Posted April 14, 2008 Author Share Posted April 14, 2008 not the answers i wanted to hear, but i assume it is for the best. It just is horrible because we both still have some feelings for one another, and to have her throw away this relationship because of some fears that WONT come true, kills me inside. oh well. its life and i hurt extremely bad. after a month and a half of being broken up i still hurt, and think it will hurt forever. it really is a scary thing Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 sending her a gift will only prolong the pain. It's time for you to let go. I'm sorry and I wish you the best. Link to comment
Mlost Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 My STBXW's birthday was last month and she had told me she wanted a divorce about 3 weeks before that. I moved out and I wrestled for a long time with what to do. My friends said that I should send her a card or whatever just to be the bigger person. But I didn't do anything because I knew I had to get on with my own life, and trying to contact her would only be painful for where I was at the time. My advice is to leave her alone. Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I wouldn't send any gifts or flowers, instead I would just write a polite and warm email to her saying something along the lines: I am not contacting you to argue or bother you just merely want to send some warm birthday wishes your way. I wish you all the best, I always have." Make it short and sweet and casual and even if she hates you or wants no contact it will not upset her but still remind her that you are thinking about her. At least that's what I would do. Link to comment
npc24 Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 ya know its weird. My birthday is in a couple weeks and i keep wondering, though im pretty confident, if i will hear anything from him...hell if he'll even remember. god we are going on 11 months of being broken up, 4 of which have been absolute no contact basically. That being said, his birthday is in June and i really want to, at least right now, wish him a happy one, but since emails seem to be so convoluded at this point, and i feel like he must just be completely indifferent to me, i wanted to call him and just wish him a casual happy birthday voicemail. I am doing ok here and there with the getting over him part, but i still value him, i do still love him and thats not gonna change, regardless of the hurt hes caused. He is forgiven. do i do this? even though im in NC right now? This is late june. is it pathetic? Link to comment
Coffee80 Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 She asked for space and it is best to just give her that. More than her,even for your own good - just do not send any gifts etc,you will subconsciously expect an acknowledgement and will only making your own healing process harder.. Link to comment
nic2463 Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 As most posters say dont send anything Link to comment
npc24 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 i forkin hate that 10 months in i still miss him every second Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.