Friends need help. A LOT OF HELP.

[nontoxicglue]

I have this 16 yr old friend (let's call her Marrissa) whose been going through a lot of havoc lately. She's attempted suicide on numerous occasions and most of the time, it's triggered by a dispute between her and her mother. Marrissa's parents divorced about five or six years ago, which may be a factor in her mood swings.

 

Anyways, she ran away from home a couple days ago by climbing off the balcony of her apartment without her cellphone and without any money in front of her mother.

 

Her mother called me to go over to their house because my friend has a tendency to confide in me. Maybe it's because I'm older than Marrissa that I'm siding with her mother on a lot of issues. I don't know...but based on what I saw, her mother was extremely worried and genuinely concerned for her daughter, but Marrissa doesn't seem to think her mother cares for her. Maybe it's just typical teen behavior, but I don't think running away and attempting suicide is normal. Her mother knows about her suicidal behaviors, but does not seek help because Marrissa keeps opposing and rebelling against whatever her mother says. Her mother called the police, but Marrissa came back on her own because it was thunder storming outside.

 

I don't really want to get into the conflict she has with her mother, but I feel like the both of them should seek some sort of counseling (my friend especially). I want to be there for my friend, even though I don't think her actions are appropriate.

 

To make matters even worse, her two closest friends are not the most mentally stable people either. The first one (let's call him John) has been referred to a crisis center for his own depression. The other friend (let's call her Emily) self injures to try and gain the attention of John. All three of them have been dumping their problems on me, so I've almost been acting like a therapist. However, I felt like a needed a break from all their drama, because I'm fed up of listening about their constant crisis. I've started to distance myself away from them and they now blame a lot of their problems on me. okay with that because they are going to complain whether I'm there or not, but all three of them are just going downhill.

 

I don't want to want to side with anyone because I really don't feel like it's my business to do so. I support Marissa's mother's decision to talk to the school counselor (Marissa doesn't know about it) because I really think this is a situation that's going out of hand.

 

Argh. I'm so confused.

[Roasted Carrots]

I'm really sorry to hear that this is happening to you. It sucks.

 

The only real advice I have is that they need serious treatment. You cannot help them get better, not only because you are not a therapist but because it is taking this huge toll on you.

 

Is there any way you can talk to Maraissa's mom and ask that she get help? I guess the only thing I can say is don't sugarcoat it. Say "Your problems are very real and scary. I'm really sorry, and I'd love to help but these things are way over my head. I can be there for you as a friend, but you need real help"

 

Hope this helps at all. Keep us posted and hang in there.