what should i do next?

[missHoenikker]

after 2 and a half months of NC, i decided to call my ex to see if he wanted to catch up. when we broke up, we both agreed that it'd be nice to be able to be friends in the future and then maybe get back together as a couple again. we had a rather short, but very intense relationship (about 7 weeks). we both dove into the relationship too quickly because we both felt an instantaneous connection/chemistry/compatibility. i feel this huge intensity (we're both pretty intense people) was what drove him to break with me back then.

 

so, back to the phone call... i called and a few days later, instead of calling me back, he emails. the email is super friendly and he briefly tells me what he's been up to and asks me what i've been up to, how my family is doing (he even refers to my baby nephew by the foreign nickname i gave him) and that's it. no mention of "yeah, it'd be nice to get together" or "i don't think we should meet in person yet".

 

i'm trying to decide now what should i do next? would it be ok for me to email back calling him out on his response in a friendly/playful manner? should i still try to set something up so we can meet in person?

 

i genuinely want us to be friends and would like to have him in my life in some form. i won't deny that i still have strong feelings for him, but i believe i'm capable of not letting them interfere in the process of building a friendship with him first.

 

your advice/pov is extremely appreciated!

[GetMeBack]

Hi

 

I read your post and sincerely felt a bit sorry for you...

 

Firstly did he break up with you, or you him? Was it a mutual decision..

 

The relationship lasted only 7 weeks and there were problems ...I am seeing someone at the moment and its been nearly a month...we are in the honey moon period...so if a break up was to happen anytime soon. I would think..well we are just not suited. I wouldnt want to be his friend because like you said the relationship you had was very intense...

 

Maybe you should ask yourself what you learnt from that relationship, so that you know in the future not to give the next person your " all " so quickly..

 

He clearly isnt interested in " getting back together " because he would have mentioned this to you,( I think you know this deep down too ) and he wouldnt have used a very " distant " approach to replying..i.e email.. I would just go back NC, and move on..

 

Messing around with friendships with a man who doesnt want you is setting yourself up for more pain and disappoint IMO.

[missHoenikker]

hi GetMeBack, i appreciate your thoughts.

 

he broke up with me and he was also the one who proposed to be friends.

[GetMeBack]

Right ok...

 

Well when he proposed being friends its because he " has no romantic feelings for you whatsoever ". If he wanted to go back out with you, he would have proposed that first....and if that dont work out...then maybe friendship...

 

If you have no romantic feelings for him either...then " friendship " away but in my OPINION what is it he can give you that another friend cant

 

Just seems like a waste of time...

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

you know Miss, sometimes, dumpers say things like 'in the future we could be friends' to make it easier on the dumpee. No one likes being dumped or being the dumper. The end of a relationship is always painful no matter what, for one party or the other, and often both.

 

I think that as the dumpee, you should leave it now. Go back to NC and see if your 'dumper' contacts you again in the future. He has responded to your call at least, even if it was an impersonal medium so thats a good sign. Its not like he hung up on you and you never heard from him again.

 

I wouldnt even reply to the email. I would just leave it now. Stay NC and work on yourself