Hope for those that are desperate, lonely and/or depressed

[doc7777]

For those who are total zombies, numb to the world around them, and despising those who are in love. You don't eat anymore, feel sick to your stomach, can't wait till the day is over but then you realize night is actually the worst, laying in bed with these thoughts which won't go away. You can't focus on anything, your mind overcome and overwhelmed by her. You feel you will never be happy again, will never find a girl as good as her again, will never be able to love again.

 

Good description, huh. Thats because I've already went through hell. The worst thing I did was read all these posts about people who were still depressed months and years after their breakup...I thought it would be this way for a while........but I was wrong.

 

What did I do that was so special that I reverted completely out of cataclismic depression in a matter of days...I DECIDED TO BE A MAN. I literally looked at myself in the mirror and was disgusted by what I saw, the worlds biggest, sorriest *** staring back at me. I looked myself in the eye in the bathroom one night, "it is just you and me buddy, we either turn this thing around together or we continue to suffer together, our choice." Be a F*CKING MAN for christ sakes, quit wallowing in your own self pitty and do what you need to do. Focus on the task at hand and worry about the bullshit when you have time. Screw all this "i like to keep a journal of my thoughts so I can sort out my feelings" bullshit, pull yourself together and act like you got a pair of nuts the size of texas. no one can do for you except for you. Quit being a *** and step up to the plate, everyone gets a little callused sometimes, builds character. If you continue to act like a sorry ass, that is how the world will look at you and treat you. You must just feel the pain momentarily, get back to your feet, dust yourself off, put your chin up, and say "F*CK YOU WORLD, I AM BACK, TOOK A HIT BUT I AM A MAN. I AM A MAN!"

[j-boe]

I agree with this post on some level. If you think how simple life is, then you'll see that there is nothing to really ever fear. We make little problems into even bigger events then they really are... We are differing from people to animals because of this, because of our imagination. Imagination is very powerful. I'm not saying imagination is powerful in "oh you can create art and poetry through it." I mean in everyday life, our imagination plays a part.

 

-Like you when you're going to work and you start to think how will the boss react because I'm arriving late, you're really trying to imagine what's going to happen you walk in to the office today.

 

-Or if you think when someone stars at you they think you're worthless... See you think that when they look at you they see something, but in reality, they only see you.

 

-j

[Lyricleplayapro]

Damn straight, good for you man!

[Gilgamesh]

I agree to some of this.

 

I do agree , that you shouldn't act hurt or look desperate in front of you Ex.

 

I do Agree, that you need to have an attitude and get on with your life, to "nip this one in the butt".

 

I do NOT agree on repressing emotions, what your suggesting is why so many men have problems with commitment, you see you may be acting like you being brave but its all the opposite what your suggesting is being a coward, because you don't face it you push it away, run away from it.

 

Sorry, you haven't thought up anything anyone else hasn't already, wish it was that easy. its just a quick fix. similar to a man ignoring the pain in a broken leg. you want to push your emotions way inside of you, fine, but remember this when your having problems in the next relationship. deal with them now, or deal with them later.

 

I confronted my fears and sorrows, I didn't run away, or jump into a new relationship, I faced the pain head on, until it didn't hurt no more. I am healed completely, I will be able to love and trust again, I will have all of my necessary emotions intact.

 

So no, I don't agree with repressing emotions, you shut those things off you will regret it later in so many ways.

 

Biggest problem with men and relationships is fear of commitment due to the fact they were hurt before and because they are "Macho Men" didn't deal with it, usually running off and getting a new girl ASAP. yeah it all feels good, but eventually they feel this girl ain't right for one reason or another, and the cycle begins. always finding excuses or making otherwise impossible.

 

So I suggest you be a Man and face you biggest fears! take them head on, don't be a chicken and push them away or hide from them. are you afraid to cry? now thats weak!.

 

With woman its different, its not "womanly" to be angry, so they sometimes repress anger, this has the negative effect of them attracting the same kind of abusive partners in their life's, we have all seen it, a woman that keeps getting drunks, or cheaters over and over again.

 

So you see ALL emotions are necessary, even the ones you may consider negative, they are there to protect us and make us whole. shut one off and your creating all kinds of problems down the road. You cant go though life numb.

[lunatic]

If you repress your emotions you will pay for it in the future. I have been repressing mine for too many years to count. I now have a huge problem with depression and I am only now starting to deal with it. I was always afraid of being alone (no woman in my life) that I now am facing my fears. I am sharing this with everyone because I don't want anyone else to ever feel the way I do right now. I am so bad that I have been debating on putting myself on meds that make me jittery/shakes/hyper. I am leaving that for the last resort.

What I am trying to say that being a man is facing your greatest fears and over coming them. Look in the mirror from now on and see the man you really are. Only you can make you better in mind/body and soul. So please don't repress the emotions that you are feeling and face them. Trust me you will be a better person all the way around in the future.

 

Hubman

[hurt in huntingdon]

My gf pulled a runner on Saturday. I'm going through waves of ugh and then I get my grip.

 

I can understand the be a man thing, but I'm finding by letting out the hurt and pain it becomes easier to be a man.

 

So many issues, reasons, why's, why nots, anger, hurt, insecurity, self esteem issues, future issues, hope, no hope.....

 

It's all one big mess at one point.

 

I think it's as normal to mourn the end of a relationship as it is to mourn the death of a person.

 

Face the pain, love yourself, and try and just get the days work done.

 

one step at a time.

 

I'm lucky that my friends have been so supportive. I'm lucky to have found this board to let some of this out. It's very cathartic.

 

Good luck and hang in there