leaving on my own...but a little scared

[saku]

i've been posting here for almost a year now mainly about a girl i like. when i first got my chance to talk to her i was very grateful for the chance because not many people give me the chance in getting to know me and vice versa...but lately, she's been really insensitive to me. i try to look friendly and all, but it doesn't matter. basically i don't have the time to go through how she's hurt me, but i know this: she's only doing this to me. i try to be a considerate and sincere person but those things don't matter to her. in fact, this isn't the first time i've been unnappreciated. alot of people don't care how they treat me. the girl i liked b4 this one was just the same. she would put me on hold for a long time when i called and wouldn't treat me the same like everyone else cause i was '' different'' as she said. in different i wasn't the thug bad boy type she and i guess alot of other girls are used to. i like to write poems and i guess i'm a little humble than most guys.

 

but it's not just being hurt, it's also school and my family. i want to major in theatre but i'm not sure if i'm going the right way in this. i mean i don't want to do soemthing else, i really want to show people i have talent, i'm just afraid it may be too late.

 

and my family...i guess thay care, but they don't understand what i want. they want me to only focus on school and nothing else. my mother has a fit if i play video games in my spare time worse...she gets on me about buying magazines. i don't go to parties because i have a hard time fitting in and i don't have alot of other things to look forward to in my life so when i can't do something simple like read a magazine then i know something is wrong with my life. and also since people don't care about me yet are nice o others (some who are jerks) then i also know something is wrong with me.

 

so after this semester ends, i'm leaving this crap place south carolina. i'll only have around $500 or maybe a little more and i know i won't be finding a place of luxury to live but i am trying to find some place i can go at least for a while. i'm 21 and i know this isn't a age considered to be a runaway, but i still don't know everything in the world just cause i'm an adult. i've written alot so i'm sorry if all this is confusing. no one's making me leave, but i'm tired of living here and getting hurt. i mean i know it won't be any easier out on my own, but i may not have to worry about getting close to anyone anymore so i won't get hurt like i am now. can anyone offer any places to go? i wanted to go out west or maybe new york. bye for now

[Linkinpark]

Hey there i have been throught the same situation as u were. Leaving on ur own may be scared at first but once u know what u want to do and know which path u want to go then u will be fine. The places that may be cheap are motel and hotel and see if u can get urself a job with ur major iam sure that there is a lot of jobs out there u can get to help u pay for everything that u need. I hope this helps u. Take care.

[VickiRose]

Hey Saku,

I just wanted to say a few things here. I read a couple of your previous posts. I know were your coming from... There really isn't a lot of places to go with $500. Maybe, you could find a roommate somewhere with link removed or something... Or study abroad next semester.. I just hope that you finish school, your degree will take you further than that crap town, once you have it then take off... You should be a senior right? Also, don't worry about finding a love, it just happens when your not looking for it or expecting it.