I did not deserve her at all and she left me!

[AronSchneider]

Maybe our relationship was doomed from the beginning. We meet at High School just before I was starting grade three and she was in starting grade two. The Swedish High school systems have three grades. I was unfaithful to her after a month together. She took me back after me crying my guts to her. In High school I didn’t want to show my feelings to her in public. Maybe I was afraid that people should call her ugly because she was overweight, this was very stupid because she was beautiful then and is now. Just after I graduated high school I dated this girl and I never told her about my girlfriend (ex). We just went out on dates and kissed one time. I think me and that girl I dated were just friends.

 

A year after I asked this girl to kiss me on the same day my ex graduated from High School and she said no and that I should be with my ex. During my first year at the University I lost my scholarship and I lived in my girlfriends (ex) and my parent’s pockets in 1, 5 years until I Got my scholarship back and got myself a very profitable spare time job. I have always worked a lot on the summers so I had some money to spend on my ex so this first three years of our relationship so it was not all bad.

 

After three years together her rich dad bought her a luxuries apartment, just after my parents sold their overnight apartment we borrowed from them. I was comfortable living with my parents, studying and making tons of money on my spare time job that I use to buy weekends abroad to me and my ex and buy her dinners and so on. I have no student loans. She gave me a key to her apartment and after that I spent more and more time with her in her apartment, not paying the rent. I asked her several times about this but she said no. It was okay, just I paid for my own expenses which I did most of the time. The last year we were together we talked of me moving in full time and me paying the rent. She told me that she wanted to see me living by myself a year so she could see me grow up, doing the laundry and cleaning. I thought this “growing up issue” was a joke in the beginning but at the end this got very real and serious from her side.

 

My very large contact net started to shrink after High School and me and my ex started to hang around with couples. A couple of years later this became a very big issue for me when my best close friends started to move to other cities and I started nagging to my ex about me being alone.

 

Other problems we faced were me being drunk on parties once or twice a year and picked discussion fights with her friends, always about politics. Her friends are very left wing and I’m a liberal conservative. But this was never a problem the early years. But for a year ago this started to be a problem. I invited a friend and his girlfriend to a dinner party and my (ex) girlfriend was negative about it and warned me because she said that they will not fit in. This was right. My friend’s girlfriend got very drunk and we talked about Turkey where she had been living for a year. She told these rather racist lines about the Turks and I thought the context was funny so I laugh about it. I was also very drunk. When my ex dumped me she said that her friends started to think of me as immature and stupid and referred to that event.

 

She also referred to the event this summer when I was on her very wealthy fathers wedding with his new young gold digger wife. Well, I got little drunk and picked a verbal fight with my ex best friend that was also invited. I did not make a scene if anyone asks because it was when everybody was leaving the hotel and it was just me, my ex, her brother and this friend of her left in the building. The same friend that she took this trip to Asia with and this friend really hates my guts.

 

Other things on the list were that I broke a button on her dad’s laptop the day after the wedding party and I felt very stupid so I was very quite under the rest of that wedding after the laptop incident. Her dad hated me first time he saw me five years ago so now he got everything on his table. He told is ex-wife after the wedding(my exs mom who he left for this gold-digger wife after two years of unfaithfulness) that I was bad for my ex and I don’t blame him. I did was not invited to any event until February this year when we meet on small birthday party, it was just before my ex left to Asia that became the end of our relationship.

 

This if course not all I have done to my ex during our five years relationship. I have made remarks about her being overweight in front of other people; I have stolen two dollars from her wallet so I could buy a buss ticket (I forgot my credit card at my parents house and I was desperat and I paid her back), I have made out with five-six girls during our relationship, I have picked verbal fights with her friends many times, I have been nagging her about myself and I have filled her with guilt to take care of me when I was feeling alone. I have done so many bad things to her that I could write ten pages. Dame it, I even let her take up my jacket.

 

She has always having problem with her weight, when she started this weight program I did not support her. First day I came home with that fast food she loved and asked her if she wanted a bite. She was so upset with me. I continued this act during that ten weeks period. When she asked me to go out jogging with her I said no. I messed up her life so I understand that she dumped me when she got thin and became that beautiful young attractive woman. Sure, she had sex with a guy in Thailand after I sent her all those love letters to her, she lied about her having any sex in Asia, she made out with that guy one week after dumping me. But what did I, I checked her mail.

 

I can cry my eyes out but in the end I did not deserve her. I can only deserve her if I become a better man and I have a lot to prove to her!

 

 

 

I did not deserve her at all and she left me!

[npc24]

IT sounds like you need to work on some things mate. if you didnt deserve her and know it then you have the perfect reason to improve yourself.

if you feel you did deserve her and she left you anyway then id understand your pain more..take this as a chance to change the thing about yourself you dont like.

the things we love about someone else are in us and we like those things in that other person for that reason. take what you love about her and put it into your own life

[thePuma]

I agree with the above poster. Take your time to write down what you want to be. Make a list, highest priority on top and start working on them, one at a time.

 

When we have bad habits, we often believe that the solution is to stop doing them. But more often the solution is to replace the bad habits with good habits.

 

So stop writing down all the wrong things that you did and start doing things right! You're probably never going to get back the girl, so learn the best things about her and then forget her, start a new life and you'll find someone else.

 

It's like exercise. If you strive (even a little bit) everyday to be a better guy, it will pay off in the end. Good luck.

[AronSchneider]

Our relationship was not bad when it came to emotions and worked almost too well sometimes. We were very loving and carrying to each other, we had great sex, we travelled around in Europe, we cooked dinner together, and we could talk about everything, we did everything together. We had tones of fun and I think we were best friends. Most people thought that we were the ever lasting couple. I did some mistakes but most of them were at the beginning of our relationship. Everything worked find when I left my teens. I started to grow up emotionally. This was like three years ago!

 

I think this wedding when I started to attack her “new” best friend; she attacked me first, by the way things started to change. I thought that her friends hated me, this is not true but I started to feel that so I was very distant to them, not follow my ex-girlfriend to parties and so on. When she dumped me she said that her friends hated me but I don’t think this is true. But she said that she wanted a boyfriend that she could hang out with along with her friends. Last year her friends and my friends (that we hang out with a lot) moved from our city. My ex thought that the “couples” that still lived in our City we hanged out with were boring people!

 

She started to hang out with this shallow Gay friends and her “new” best friend. It’s rather unworkable for me to hang around gay clubs with “fag-hags” (Females that love gay-people just for them being gay). I’m not that kind of guy and because Im not gay i get excluded. It seems that she want this new, very shallow teen single life with partying everyday and get all this attention for guys. She was missed out a lot; she never had her single teen period. I think this wedding incident, me loosing my job and much more are the reason why she started to hang out with this friends. She was afraid that I should go back to my teens, she loved me then but it’s hard to love young adult male that is living like a teen when its come to responsiblity. She also said that she wanted a happy boyfriend, an easy going boyfriend, not a deep one that just study and do nothing intressesting when she dumped me. She is really mixed how she want me to be.

 

I have a lot to prove to her. I will move to another city for University for Master studies after the summer, (its just 45 minutes by train from our city) I have started making new friends and are taken up old, I got myself a new sparetime job. So I have started to change. I even started to exercise. I hope she will see the change, because I really love her and want a second change.