AronSchneider Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 This is a very long Post! Saturday the 9e Marsh 2008 I got a mail from my girlfriend Asia, saying that she wasn’t in loved with me but that she loved me. That she wanted some time off. The reason why she sent that mail was that I had checked her account and saw that she had written to a danish friend that she wanted to end her relationship. When I read that Mail something broke inside me and I called a friend that told me I should send her a mail. I did it and she answered that she wasn’t in loved with me and that she had much to think about. She sent me two messages, the last wasn’t final. She just wanted to think about us. I didn’t answer it and went to a friend studying in another City for some advice and heavy drinking. Monday the 17e Marsh 2008 she was back in my hometown (Stockholm). She called me and had this sad tone in her voice saying that she wanted to meet over a cup of coffee and then asked me how I was doing. I said that everything was fine, that I have been doing great and that I have started to get back on track. We soon started to talk about our relationship on the phone. She told me all this Hollywood lines, like “I will always love you, but I’m not in loved with you” and “I don’t regret being with you”. I asked her if there was another guy, she said No and that she had been faithful. The conversation ended after 10 minutes. She said that I could call her anytime and that she wanted to give my stuff back. “He was okay with the break up and understand that this is also the best for him so he can rise up doing something with his life” she later writes in an E-mail to a friend. I didn’t desperately call her and went to a trip to the mountains with my family instead. I thought about us. We are young, 23 and 22. We have been together sense high school (five years) and I was her first one in every sexual aspect and I’m her first great love. We had always a very strong relationship, very loving. We are both University students. I understand that she wanted to be free. The last 6 month has not been so great. I lost my very well paid spare time job just after a weekend to London I bought for us to visit a friend of mine, my friends started to move from the city and I felt alone and started to nag her about it. The only thing that was working for me was my studies. My ex-girlfriend was nagging about me doing nothing; just go to school and then get home waiting for her. She was upset about everything with me. She wanted me to grow up, help her with the home, stop eating fast food, go out with her and exercise, get a new spare time job, be more active! I didn’t even support her when she lost weight, I did the opposite, and I started to eat more fast food, even in front of her. Everything was just a blur of aggression from her side and I was rebellious to everything she said. She got bitterer with me. After the New Year 2008 she dropped out from her studies. She wanted to see and do something else. It was then everything started to get very bad. The last 3 month she started to hang around some very out going “gay” people and with that girl friend she went to Asia with. She stopped having sex with me and didn’t want to let me give her an orgasm. She came with lies and referred to “couples” we used to hang with saying that they don’t have sex so often, that her weight lost was the issue and that she didn’t liked sex anymore. She started nagging all the time, saying that my life was boring, that I had no friends, that my majors at the University, political science and sociology was a stupid choice, that I should get myself a life. A month before she left for Asia she told me that she wanted “a break” late at night in bed. I got sad and wanted to leave; she stopped me and hugged me, saying that she “loved me and feels sorry for me, that she wanted to take care of me”. My birthday a week before she went to Asia was rather sad. She took me to a fine dinner, she didn’t want to talk, or drink her expensive vine. She just looked very unhappy. The day before she left for Asia I got sick and she got out partying. It was a very tragic ending. I know her so well so could figure out her password to her mail after she changed it, she changed it in Asia. I checked it and read a mail she was sending to her friend, who still is in Asia. It was about me saying that she didn’t care if I got a new spare time job and fixed myself. But she hoped that I would because she cared for me and she was thinking about me and my well doing. In later mails I discovered that she had slept with a guy in Asia and that she had make out on a party that weekend I was in the mountains. Her girlfriend in Asia is really doing everything to see us split apart, according to the E-mails. Her girlfriend will be back in two months. I called my Ex Marsh 27e 2008. I was very cool saying that everything was working (Well, my studies is doing great) for me and that we should take a cup of coffee as friends and that I wanted my shoes back. She was very positive but with a sad tone in her voice and she said she wanted to talk about us. She started to ask me how everything was going and we started to get to our relationship. She didn’t know that I had access to her Mail so when I asked her about the other guy in Asia she lied and got very upset with me. I said that we most be honest to each other so we can have clean ending to this and so we can be friends in the future. She started to scream that she had done nothing. I said that I know her password. She got quite but her voice was very angry and sad, she said that she didn’t think we were together. I pushed her to talk about why she left me. She said that she wanted a boyfriend that she could hang out with her friends with, that I was not well liked among her friends. That last thing is not entirely true as I told her. Her best friend asked me why we don’t hang out as a couple and why I didn’t followed my ex to her birthday party. She then told me she maybe had changed, with an angry tone. She also said that her weight lost gave her the opportunity to not stay with me. That she could change her lifestyle, including me. That it wasn’t really about giving her space, because I have always done that she said. Under the first part of the conversation she was upset that I called her at work. When we started to settle down our voices she soon stopped to be so annoyed with me calling her. She said that she had no sexual desire for me and suddenly she started to blame me for not care about our relationship. She told me that I most have noticed she had started to fell out of love for me and why I did not do anything about it. She continued saying that she said that she was to sick and tired of me leaving my jacket on the floor. She said that she wanted me to understand this issiues next time I was into a relationship. I asked her if this was final she said first yes and when I pushed her she said no. Then she said that she doesn’t know about the future but she will stay single for a while. I told her that she wanted some “appreciation and little romance”. She laughed about it, because she always used to say that to me when we were a happy couple. I asked her if she missed me. She said that she missed to have someone to call, some one to chat about nothing with, some one to hold her at night. When I asked her to send a text message she said first no but then yes but said that I could get any ideas. We laughed again. Then I changed my mind and I told her that we chould skip this text messages because it was not a good idea. Then she got that sad angry tone in her voice again! Later that night she changed her password. I sent a text message to her phone that I was sorry about her E-mail and that I was glad that she changed her password and that we should be honest to each other. She didn’t respond. I called her the next day, Friday 28 Marsh. She was very short, and angry with me about the E-mail account. She didn’t want to meet me as we discussed. On Saturday 29 Marsh she sent me a phone message saying “Hello, I have not the energy to meet you, we should do it in another occasion. I’m sorry” We haven’t talked after that. To the Question: Everything looks very dark right now. Is it totally over? Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 All you can do is give her space, don't contact her, and move on. Only time will tell if it is totally over. (((HUGS))) xx Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 All you can do is give her space, don't contact her, and move on. Only time will tell if it is totally over. (((HUGS))) xx I will not contact her. But she will in a period of three-four weeks call me because I have a lot of stuff at her place. At first my objective was not to contact her, see how everything was developing over her mail and then be ready to meet her with all the information. But now I haven’t access to her mail account or Facebook as before. I should not have told her about me know her passwords. But I got very upset when I told her that it was okay if she sleept with another guy, that we should be honest to each other! But what can I do about it now! Link to comment
brokedownpalace Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 well you can stop checking her email and facebook. Why were you checking them anyway Link to comment
AronSchneider Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 well you can stop checking her email and facebook. Why were you checking them anyway First time, I checked her Mail was before she dumped me. I thought that something was wrong with my E-mail so I just checked if everything was working. Then I saw this mail to this hippie Danish guy sent to her, he was writing that he was so happy dumping his ex after he had slept with every girl on the beach inclusive my ex-girlfriends friend. After she dumped me she changed her password. But for a couple of days ago I checked it again. Maybe I was jealous or just curious. It was rather easy to break her password. I did it and I know the wrongness in this! Then I discovered about that guy she slept with in Asia, about her friend talking bad about me, the guy she was sticking her tongue in the first weekend home and so on. I have already apologised to her, but she was not honest about that guy in Asia. I think that is much worse then some spying! I have never been unfaithful to her; I’m not saying to her that we should be tight again. I’m just saying that we should be honest to each other and if it doesn’t work out between us its okay. It was I that told her that I wanted to be friend with her if she feels that we can not be together. I have been the one that have mature approach to this ex-relationship. Okay, it’s coming when everything is over but here I’m trying here!](*,) By the way, she has changed her password for a second time so I can not get to her mail anymore. Link to comment
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