I miss our talks

[kevinm]

So last Sunday my g/f and I spoke about our relationship. I basically stated that I wanted to start over, she's still on the fence. So we decide to take things easy and not go down the same path we have before... which is focusing too much on a dream of each other, the future. We said we'd work on the present, really learning about each other and rebuilding our foundation.

 

My confusion stems from her wanting time and space, yet she continues to email me. Now granted, it's not like it was before. Before we used to email once in the morning, once at night, often with a phone call at night too. I've only received 2 emails since our talk (both phone and email). The first email was just thanking me for opening up and the second was a note about how she is missing me and her daughter mentioned me.

 

I'm so torn because on one hand I want to reply back, share with her what happened in my day, tell her how much I miss her, etc. On the other hand I really want to give us a chance to move forward and I'm afraid that sending an email back would maybe be allow us to fall back into the old patterns. I still come home and jump on the computer to see what she wrote, and get sad when there's not a note there.

 

My gut wants me to write her. Let my feelings pour out. Tell her how much I love her and how much I miss her. But I'm afraid to do so. I'm afraid doing so will not provide her or I the time and space we both felt we needed. I'm afraid my expression of love will not be returned, or that I'm going to scare her off. Why does this have to be tough? So my question is: Do I contact her either by phone or e-mail? Or do I just ignore the emails? Is it wrong of me to not answer the emails back promptly?

 

-Kevin

[Censored]

I shouldn't be this tough. if hse has emailed you, then emil her back.

 

If you scare her off, then it was not going to work.

 

Don't get into games, of how long to wait etc.

Be who you are as a person. That's the best you can do.

[hairypigmonster]

This may sound too cynical, but I would employ all the strength I could muster to ignore those emails. You put your neck out confessing your desire to have a relationship with the woman, and she rejected it. The fact that her rejection was soft, or noncommittal isn't really a good thing. Based on the behavior you describe it seems like she's stringing you along. Maybe it's not intentionally manipulative as my comment makes it sound, but the effect is the same. She's got the door propped open and, by gosh, you're pacing around right outside hoping she'll stick her head out, or invite you in.

 

Good luck.