to all the NC specialists... plz help!

[some strange girl]

so it's a month since we split up (been together for two years, broke up mutually due to long distance), and two weeks of NC. when we last saw each other it was all lots of tears, both of us saying that we still loved each other but that it isn't going to work out this way, and he said he wanted a longer period of NC and that perhaps later in time we could be friends. and that I could call him anytime when I felt I needed to talk.

 

few days ago, I read in the paper that there's been riots in my hometown where he works as a policeman, and that six policemen had been injured so I was really worried... I texted him that I had read what was going on and that I just wanted to know whether he was ok. he didn't respond (it's been two days) so either he just doesn't want to contact me even for a short 'I'm ok', which is strange because we did not split in anger, well anyway I'm just really freaking out because I keep wondering whether he was injured.

I know, I know, NC all the way, and I agree with that - but should I try to call him one more time just to check shortly whether he's ok, or would it be better to leave it at that for now?

 

thanks for reading, I know kind of stupid "should I call him" problem, but that's the way it goes... ](*,)

[Clabs]

Hey girl

 

I am sorry about your predicament - it sucks when there are outside influences to break you up. But some relationships suffer from poor timing. Long distance can put an awful strain on a relationship.

 

I know you are worried about him and that is only natural. He has requested a longer period of NC and I am sure that is the reason that he hasn't responded to you.

 

I think your best bet is to leave it be for the time being - hard as it seems right now.

 

Don't feel stupid - we all have all manner of thoughts screaming through our heads at this time. It is great to be able to come on here and vent and ask for advice because in your fuddle, even the most basic decision making can fly out the window!

 

Take care honey.

 

Mark

[arwen]

I am sorry for your situation. You still care a lot about him of course, and NC can be really hard also in the absense of possible accidents. Still, I think that probably it's best to stay in NC. I think he is doing the same, and that this is why he hasn't replied. Even if he is indeed injured, there is little you can do.

 

I have been in LDR in the past (between different countries) and it's horrible to have to conclude it's not possible to build the relationship the way you want to. That happened to me too, and I had a hard time dealing with it.

[Addicus]

Hi....don't feel stupid..there are no stupid questions on this forum! I would stay stick with NC.....if that is what your ex asked for then it is what you need to do. By doing what a persons asks you are respecting their boundary....it is hard.....but it stops the emotional rollercoaster ride! I am on day 36 and I have had a lot of time to think about my needs, about the relationship and was able to remve my ex from the pedalstal..I have also found everything that I got from my ex in my friends (except sex of course)..but my friends, and I can provide myslef with what I need...I don't eed to look for it in one person, and really that is unrealistic to even do that!

 

Each day you do NC you grow.....it's a great feeling. try to remember that without pain...we really have no reference point of what happiness feels like, or what success is. Pain is required if we are going to grow!

[SamT]

Hmm, i can see why you would be worried. Its definetely not a silly question to be asking...

 

Im pretty sure that he will be okay, if he was involved, otherwise he would have contacted you right? It does seem pretty cruel not to txt back..

 

But i guess you have to respect the need for space. He does see a future for you both, so i wouldnt worry about it for the time being.

 

Just focus your energy, the energy that you are concentrating on him, and use it on yourself. Treat yourself, and keep your mind busy.

 

He will be okay. Dont worry.

 

Take care.x