Having trouble letting go....

[orangecounty]

Hey guys, I've been seeing this guy for a close to a month and a half. This is my first relationship and so everything is pretty new. I feel bad because I'm shy about initiating things, even just kissing. At first, I hadn't realized I was never initiating anything because I'm shy and was just allowing him to take the lead. But he brought it up the other night, was very sweet about it and told me that it was ok for me to take the lead. The thing is, it feels so out of my comfort zone, I'm not use to initiating. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I also realized that I have a difficult time being inhibited, it's like I have a really hard time letting go and allowing someone in. I'm not sure how to get over this. And the thing is, I'm comfortable with my boyfriend, he's super sweet and understanding, I feel like there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to relax.

[Over Analyzer]

They make "adult" board games. They can be a fun way to play around. It sounds like you just need to be more comfortable in your own skin. You are denying yourself intimacy, not just him. It's ok to do these things, just try little things at first. Stop focusing on what you are doing and start focusing on what you are feeling (physically). You will see what you are missing and might give him a run for the money in the process. You are an adult, own it, it's your life experience it!

[orangecounty]

Thanks for the good advice I think I may have a bit of a "good girl" complex, like "oh I don't do those things." It's like a whole new role that I'm not use to. I know in time, it'll get easier. But I'm having a tough time getting going. Adult board games, eh?,ahaha That made me laugh.

[iFlirt]

I know just how you feel. When I first started seeing my bf I had never done anything, so if he didnt start it, nothing happened...

I think you just have to ease into it. You dont have to launch yourself at him out of nowhere, it can be as easy as a small peck before he leaves a room. Then you can work up from there. You just have to get the ball rolling

[orangecounty]

iflirt, exactly! Nothing would happen if he didn't initiate. I talked to my sister about it and she said it was the same when she was in her first relationship. And didn't even realize there was a problem, much like myself. I tried the other night to be the first one to kiss him, not that it's a competition,ahaha and I tried to be a little more touchy feely. So I guess little by little.