nothing new but my pain is getting worse

[saku]

when i say pain i mean emotionally. people say we control how we feel and that's probably true and all, but will say this. some people can lift 300 lbs and others can barely lift 30. i don't know....maybe 5 or ten years from now, i'll look back and see how easy my problems were (maybe) but for now, the hurt is too overwhelming. i'm having a hartd time academically at school and i'm not sure if i want to go back next semester. not only that the girl i've been talking to since april...i've already mentioned she has someone (i guess they're still together) but i haven't talked to her in a few weeks now. i've been having a hard time wanting to talk to her. i want to call her tonight, but i have had bad experinces talking to girls on the phone in the past and i really don't feel like going through this anymore. some one told me to just face my fear and i want to but i'm so tired right now. if things keep getting worse, i'm going to leave live the rest of my life alone. it's not something i want to do, but i don't see any other way. with the holidays coming up, it's only gonna make things harder. i just want to let this girl know i've been wanting to talk to her and that i'm also thinking of leaving...i just don't know how. i'm afraid she'll spit on my words. can anyone relate or have an idea of how i should go through this? bye for now

[eltee]

it seems like your problem isn't really just about the girl or talking to her on the phone...i relate to your problems more on a deeper level, because even though we are years apart in age, i bet we both feel the same things with the same degree of problems. Yes, I agree that people always say that we control our own destiny..it's how we deal with our problems that truly determines our quality of life. Its easier for others, and harder for some (like me). Just don't give up on faith. Have faith in fate. Don't make any extreme decisions on life unless it's in a positive way. I am struggling through hard times right now and sometimes i feel like i will never meet the love of my life, that i will grow old alone and blah blah blah... it gets hard. trust me, I know... sometimes I can't even see straight. Just remember, you aren't alone. Don't ever measure your self worth with the approval of others, whether or not you have a gf/bf... you are incredible because of you... and i know it's hard to not judge yourself through the eyes of others (something I need to work on as well).

 

Stay positive. Life is larger than we think. And yes, I guarantee, in 5 years, you will look back and smile, knowing you learned so much from the pain (life isn't always easy for a reason). Be patient with yourself.