Any help appreciated... this sucks.

[Guni]

Guys i am going to make this really brief so i do not bore you all. I will do it in dot points to give you the general run down.

 

Start of last year i met my best friends girlfriend

 

I fall in love with her but cannot say since i don't want to lose them both

 

I get very very close with her, go places, spend time with her etc

 

I realize after a few more months this is no ordinary crush, i really like this girl and I'd do anything for her

 

It's really hard seeing them together everyday

 

All i can think about is this one girl almost a year later

 

She is very affectionate towards me and I her

 

I try get over her...it doesn't work

 

Eventually her and my friend break up and i think it would be funny to tell her how i felt about her and she claims 'shes always had a spot in her heart for me'

 

We always tell each other how much we love and appreciate each other

 

She tells me we could not date since we couldn't do that to our friend/her ex

 

It's months later and yet she is still be affectionate towards me, always loving

 

It's killing me, it's so hard, I'd do anything to be with this girl, I actually find myself asking myself sometimes if she is the one person on this planet I'd die for

 

I don't understand her, usually when a girl doesn't want anything for you she tells you up front that she would rather 'stay friends' and thats that, but not this time.

 

I don't know where to go from here. I see her and my friend everyday, I'm pretty sure she knows i love her like that, but surly she wouldn't be so affectionate towards me if she only wanted to stay friends =(

 

I don't know what to do guys, it kills me to imagine her with somebody else.

 

I know i don't have a very serious problem here compared to some people, but all i can think about at night is this girl, she is amazing, i want to know where she is, what she is up to, just because i care.

 

As i said any help is great, sorry about the long post.

[Guni]

This is my original post about 8 months ago i think, just if anybody was interested in a bit more detail.

[Aleadragonhawk]

If she wanted to be in a relationship with you, she'd be in a relationship with you. That's the way things work. So with that stated, you can move on to looking at this - she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, or perhaps better, isn't going to be. So it's time to move on - and the best way to start moving on is to go no contact. So no more seeing her every day - no more telling her how much you love her - and no more vague closeness. Alternately, you can ask her if anything is going to happen between you two before going NC, and base your decision off of what she says.

[amure]

shame man,

you shouldnt have even let yourself feel that way for her, shes your best mates girl. even if they broke up you just dont go there.

 

if i was your best mate, id kick your ass to the cerb.

 

respect to the girl, having the decency to not do that to anyone.

 

good luck

[Guni]

Not seeing her everyday is not an option, it is out of my hands, but what i will do is ignore all the affectionate stuff etc and try to distance myself from her. If she notices something is up i will tell her the truth. Does this sound ok?

[Aleadragonhawk]

Not seeing her everyday is not an option, it is out of my hands, but what i will do is ignore all the affectionate stuff etc and try to distance myself from her. If she notices something is up i will tell her the truth. Does this sound ok?

 

Starting to distance yourself from her is a good step. It might be better to tell her at the beginning that you're going NC - then you avoid a potential conflict halfway through where she confronts you about ignoring her.