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What is she up to?

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To tell you the truth, I'm here because I lack experience in dating, or understanding the opposite sex, for that matter.


Anyway, last week my supervisor and I were finally official(at least I think so). We were not yet official after the concert. My problem is I do not know what is she up to; is she just "playing along" with me because she's afraid to hurt me and brake our friendship? Is it because she's the same as I am (we both lack experience in boyfriend-girlfriend relationship)? I really do not know what to think of it. I understand that we have to hide our feelings and practically ignore each other while under company time so we do not spark negative thoughts with our co-workers. How she responds to me, is what gives me second thoughts of her.


Here is an example of one of our conversations: (Just as we are done with our shifts, we had a conversation outside of work)


BACKGROUND(what happened days before this conversation): Days after the concert, we had a phone conversation. Basically, I gave her a gift during that morning, and was surprised of her reaction. I asked/confronted her about it(her reaction), during that evening, she apologized, and I told her that it was my way of telling her that I like her. She thanked me but never told me that she liked me back. And that she does not owe me anything, and that I was not expecting anything in return.


HER: I'm about to leave. Do you want me to wait for you?

ME: Sure, I'll punch out in just a sec.


I waited for her outside.


ME: *Handing her the gift I bought when I went on vacation*

HER: You're so nice...

ME: *speechless*

HER: I'm gonna pay you back.

HER: Wanna do something on -----, after work?

ME: of course! What's the plan?

HER: I don't know (yet).

ME: Movies?

HER: *nods*

HER: We're going out, if you let me pay for everything (that day), or we're not going.


(I pay for everything when we go out).


ME: *jokingly* okay, we're not going.

HER: *Stunned*

ME: I'm just kidding, of course we're going (NOTE: I did not say that I was going to let her pay).

HER: I'll see you tomorrow, I'm running late for school (We both attend night school at different college)


By what she said, it sounds like she thinks I'm making her feel that she owes me something. After she pays me back, we're done for or at least she is with me. I don't want it to end that way. But I don't want to commit to her either if she is just playing with me.



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Hi setsuko-

That's a pretty complicated situation, but I say just go on the date with her, and if you really really do feel something is there, (and you BOTH enjoyed your time 2gether) simply ask her out again. Just say "I really had a great time with you...would you want to hang out again?" Just be yourself. From your convo, it seems like she was excited to ask you out!


I hope this helped



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