I need some help fellas....is my friend gay???

[VirginiaWhatsUp]

FIRST OF ALL I KNOW THIS LOOKS LIKE A LOT BUT PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ>>>I NEED HELP!!!>>Ok i am 19 and i live in a apt with my best friend, we are room mates in college. I feel like i am in love with him. I AM SO CONFUSED THOUGH. He does not know that I am bi and im not sure if he is. We both smoke weed and majority the time we start wrestling, but do wrestle when we arent smokin too.But he always stops when another guy comes over. Alot the times he holds me in positions as if we were having sex. I have had my lips kissin him on his chest and his chin before. We fall asleep close to each other all the time too.One time not to long ago i tried to make a move and was playin wit his stuff when he was sleep and it got hard, but after a while i stopped cause i was gettin nervous, after a while he woke up in went into his room. He acted the same as always the next day. Hold Up now i know this sounds like he is gay but he TALKS ABOUT GIRLS ALOT too and he says that he doesnt like gay people. I think that both of those are a front but am i blinded by love. I DO NOT want to just come out and ask him though...If he is not bi or gay then I know the friendship would end and i dont want that to happen...WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO??????

[dragon26]

Wow,you have alot going on here.

 

If there is anything I've learned from all my past roommates is one thing -do not date, think of dating, hook up with or do anything with your room mate that you would regret later... because when you wake up the next day - they still live there. If you want to pursue your room mate for anything other than half the bills - you need to move out. Touching him while he was sleeping was very wrong, if I woke up and found my room mate doing anything like that to me - I'd throw them out. I once caught one of my room mates in my room next to my bed at night, that alone almost got him thrown out.

 

You're at an age and time in your life where you and your room mate are figuring out their own sexual identity, not to sound corny but its true. I watched quite a few of my friends go through this in college - it takes time and there are lots of wrong turns along the way. I have one friend who goes so far as to say, "In college, I let a guy suck my dick - that doesn't make me gay" - I'd say his current girlfriend would agree. So, given that his actions and words don't match up - you either need to stop all the physical "sexual" contact now or come out and ask him directly. Unless you can ask him directly, you can't pursue this.

[sisterlynch]

this is a new one, but i think I get the picture. You need to get over the lust in your heart and stick with the friendship that your relationship is based upon. He obviously knows that you like him and if he is wrestling with you and you are kissing him while you are doing so, I would say that he knows.

 

Here is what I would probably do, not being a male myself, I am only imagining that he is bi too and that both of you are interested in a lustful sexual encounter more so than a love relationship. If you are really in love and don't want "just sex" then don't listen to me, as this will probably lead to a sexual encounter.

 

When he starts to wrestle you the next time, go loose, like you don't really want to fight him anymore, let him land on your body every time he comes on to you. If he kneals up in front of you and just hangs out there like he's waiting for you to do something to him, do it, go for the banana!

 

If he says no, then say that you don't want to wrestle him anymore, it is too weird for you. That way it is out or overwith. You both have your fantasy resolved.

[enadevoli]

theres a possibility for anything. but maybe he's scared to tell you for the same reason you are scared to tell him. he might think that you won't want to be friends with him any more. however, friends are supposed to like us for who we are. there's no exception for that. i do agree with the last post, it probably wouldn't be wise to do sexual things with a roomate. things might get awkward after awhile. & it could mess your friendship up. if you want him to know that you are bi, then you should tell him & if he ends up hating you for it then he's not a true friend.