two steps back to move forward

[as1shoodo]

It has come to my conclusion today, after wearing myself out yesterday, what to do about my relationship and how to move forward. Ive spoken previously of ultimatums what my woman wants now in comparison to what its been (lack of communication, independence and self-worth). in order for me to honor her newly chosen freedom and independence, i realized that i need to take two steps back and redirect all my controlling emotions to something for myself. If i had invested too much time looking for all my answers to be found in my woman, I see how that can be smothering or unsatisfying to her, or me, because she just cannot oblige (whether it be availability or connection). I strongly stand today (dont know about tomorrow) with a less-worried approach to bring communication to the table yet not dwell on the unknowings of her daily doings. Im beginning my TO DO list to occupy my time in hopes that this brings us closer. Tell me im not going through a stage, please...

[kodiakxt]

everythings a stage hehe. your on the right track though, its hard to do, but forget about what all she may be doing during the day and especially at nighttime on the weekends. thinking of it only brings hurt. asking her about what she's doing may only bring more hurt, or may bring relief, but eventually shes going to do something that hurts you, and trust me, it will be crushing, so dont even bother asking her. when you talk to her, (if you still plan on keeping communication open, which i dont suggest for a good long time) then ask general questions, not specific. like "how was your weekend?" or "how was work today?". dont ask things like "so did you go clubbing last night?" or "did you dance with any guys?" or "are you seeing anyone yet?" o, and one last thing, what you feel today may be the total opposite of what you feel tomorrow. there were some days i was as happy as a lark in a tree singing, and the next day (sometimes the next hour) i was back in that pit of misery missing her like hell. your going to do the same thing also probably, just try to remember your plan of action and stick to it no matter how your feeling at a specific time.

 

good luck man

-matt

 

(o, and i dont even really know your story, just what u posted in this thread, so all of this may not even apply, sorry if it doesnt)